Warning: while I know I am very lucky in a lot of ways and that I shouldn't complain when other people have life far worse than I do... I'm going to anyway. Because that's what the internet is for. Posting reams and reams of self-deprecating, half-angsty, slightly tongue-in-cheek blog posts. (If anyone tells you differently they are trying to sell you miracle penis and/or weight loss pills).
These viral, free SG passes are interesting (boobs aside) because every time I activate one I read over the smattering of blog posts I made during my previous membership and realise that I am a massive liar. Or perhaps not, I did mention in my first ever post that I would look back on this and wonder 'what the fuck was I thinking'. So maybe not a liar? A hypocrite perhaps. Well that's not much of a secret; in fact it's the second entry on my CV.
I started my SG account at a turning point in my life, I had finished college and been accepted into a surprisingly good university to study a subject which I thought I loved. I was excited about leaving home and eager to carve my name into the amazing underground music culture that supposedly existed at uni. I had it all planned out, I would study for an hour a week, pass with a first and spend the rest of my time playing guitar and photographing hot scenester girls and discussing the hidden subtext in smashing pumpkins songs... (or had I already gone off SP at this point, maybe it was Silversun Pick-ups songs) whatever.
Did I do any of that? Well I studied for an hour a week and the result was that I passed my first year by about three percent, luckily it didn't count towards my overall degree. As for the rest of it? Well, kind of, actually. I was all ready to write 'no' but thinking back I dated the only goth on campus, went to see obscure political movies with a cute girl who took life far too seriously and managed to catch some amazing gigs. But it didn't live up to my expectations, or more accurately I didn't live up to my expectations. I was not the second-coming of the hipster-super-hot-geeky Jesus. Why? Because I didn't put in any fucking effort.
Now I am about to start my fourth and final year and in debt up to my eyeballs. I'm staying with my parents over summer and hating it. (They are both miserable, miserable people who lack the courage to admit that fact to each other and instead unload their accrued discontent on me whenever I visit for any length of time. They are like camels... misery camels.) Anyway, I'm determined that this is the last time I will 'live' in my parents house. I will visit, of course, but in the future I will never spend a sufficient amount of time here that I fall back into my childhood/teenage routine of sleeping until past noon in a room made messier by all my half assed attempts to tidy it.
I suppose the point to all of this, is that, I did not put any effort into considering what I wanted to do with my life. I just went with the flow and as a result ended up in a degree I don't like, living a lifestyle I do not enjoy. I was either too lazy or afraid to express or attain what I truly wanted and, as I come to the end of the education chapter of my life I'm only just starting to realise this. Maybe that's the big lesson I was supposed to learn from university anyway?
So I'm going to start again, with more hard work and more honesty.
Hi I'm Gareth, nice to meet you.
These viral, free SG passes are interesting (boobs aside) because every time I activate one I read over the smattering of blog posts I made during my previous membership and realise that I am a massive liar. Or perhaps not, I did mention in my first ever post that I would look back on this and wonder 'what the fuck was I thinking'. So maybe not a liar? A hypocrite perhaps. Well that's not much of a secret; in fact it's the second entry on my CV.
I started my SG account at a turning point in my life, I had finished college and been accepted into a surprisingly good university to study a subject which I thought I loved. I was excited about leaving home and eager to carve my name into the amazing underground music culture that supposedly existed at uni. I had it all planned out, I would study for an hour a week, pass with a first and spend the rest of my time playing guitar and photographing hot scenester girls and discussing the hidden subtext in smashing pumpkins songs... (or had I already gone off SP at this point, maybe it was Silversun Pick-ups songs) whatever.
Did I do any of that? Well I studied for an hour a week and the result was that I passed my first year by about three percent, luckily it didn't count towards my overall degree. As for the rest of it? Well, kind of, actually. I was all ready to write 'no' but thinking back I dated the only goth on campus, went to see obscure political movies with a cute girl who took life far too seriously and managed to catch some amazing gigs. But it didn't live up to my expectations, or more accurately I didn't live up to my expectations. I was not the second-coming of the hipster-super-hot-geeky Jesus. Why? Because I didn't put in any fucking effort.
Now I am about to start my fourth and final year and in debt up to my eyeballs. I'm staying with my parents over summer and hating it. (They are both miserable, miserable people who lack the courage to admit that fact to each other and instead unload their accrued discontent on me whenever I visit for any length of time. They are like camels... misery camels.) Anyway, I'm determined that this is the last time I will 'live' in my parents house. I will visit, of course, but in the future I will never spend a sufficient amount of time here that I fall back into my childhood/teenage routine of sleeping until past noon in a room made messier by all my half assed attempts to tidy it.
I suppose the point to all of this, is that, I did not put any effort into considering what I wanted to do with my life. I just went with the flow and as a result ended up in a degree I don't like, living a lifestyle I do not enjoy. I was either too lazy or afraid to express or attain what I truly wanted and, as I come to the end of the education chapter of my life I'm only just starting to realise this. Maybe that's the big lesson I was supposed to learn from university anyway?
So I'm going to start again, with more hard work and more honesty.
Hi I'm Gareth, nice to meet you.