Evidently, many scientists have never seen even one scary sci-fi movie: The Defense Department is funding research into battlefield robots that power themselves by eating human corpses. What could possibly go wrong?
Since they apparently don't own TVs or DVD players, researchers at Robotic Technology say the robots will collect organic matter, which could include human corpses, to use for fuel. But if you picked up anything on flesh-eating robots over the years you know they'll ignore that tasty soybean field and make a chow line right to the nearest dead body. And, if the machines can't find enough dead people to eat, they can always make new ones.
Researchers seem to get a kick out of ensuring the demise of the human species, so the project is called the Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot, or EATR. Readers looking to save time and trouble are invited to begin marinating themselves in a mix of 10W30 and Heinz 57 Sauce immediately!
SPOILERS! (Click to view)One of the robot's inventors, Dr Robert Finkelstein of Robotic Technology Inc, (RTI) said that Eatr had built-in systems that would help it determine whether material that it ingested was animal, vegetable or mineral."If it's not on the menu, it's not going to eat it." "There are certain signatures and different kinds of materials that would distinguish vegetative biomass from other material."
It can also use more conventional fuels, such as petrol, diesel or cooking oil, to keep going. But in a statement put out by the group, it reiterated that it would be illegal to create a robot that used dead bodies as an energy source. "Descration of the dead is a war crime under Article 15 of the Geneva Conventions, and it is certainly not something sanctioned by Darpa, Cyclone or RTI." It's actually a steam-powered machine, which employs a biomass furnace that can be fed by all manner of organic materials, harvested with its "gripper" claw and chainsaw. The EATR's ideal source of fuel would probably be foliage, not humans, but there are just too many red flags here. Claws? Chainsaws? "Organic matter" and "biomass" euphemisms? Not to mention this is the second death-powered machine we've seen in as many weeks. The project is set to be completed in about 90 days, so enjoy the next three months, folks.
And here's an honest-to-god diagram of the robot: 
