Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

ganonymousg

Member Since 2007

Followers 76 Following 100

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Tuesday Mar 04, 2008

Mar 4, 2008
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
This Is Very Important And Must Be Read!!

"I pretty careful when it comes to my socks. Certain philosophers have speculated as to why socks so often get lost whenever people do laundry, but- until recently- I never lost a single sock. But then I lost a sock in October of 2001. And then I lost another two weeks later, and then a third around Thanksgiving. And it slowly dawned on me that something was afoot. "What in the name of Andrew W.K. is going on?" I asked aloud while sorting my freshly cleaned garments. Why were my socks suddenly disappearing like Chinese panda bears?

What had changed?

The Answer: Mr. Smokey.

It occured to me that the only aspect of my laundering that had changed in recent weeks was my newfound affinity for petting a feline of unknown origin. Accessing the public laundry room in my apartment complex required that I breifly walk outside my building's back door, where I consistently encountered a large grey cat I liked to call "Mr. Smokey." Despite our initial differences, I struck up an amicable relationship with Mr. Smokey; whenever I saw him, I would scratch his kitty ears and his kitty tummy, much to his kitty delight. OR SO IT SEEMED! Evidence began to mount suggesting that Mr. Smokey was using this weekly exchange as a diversion to steal my socks, one at a time. It's still not clear why he wanted my socks, since it had always been my assumption that kittens wanted mittens (in order to aquire pie). HOWEVER, there was no other explanation for these disappearances. In fact, I have reason to believe there was a whole network of cats involved in this: Perhaps MR. Smokey stole my attention while a second cat(s) pounced into my laundry basket, snaring the best available footwear and fleeing into the darkness. I'm convinced an even larger cat (Mr. Orange) from a neighboring building was part of this conspiracy.

"How often have I said," asked the coke-addicted Sherlock Holmes in The Sign of Four, "that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?" This is true; I am nothing if not logical.

Mr. Smokey MUST DIE!"

*from my book sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs the funniest book I've ever read... by Chuck Klosterman...the most random man i've ever listened to...
elgeneral:
wow that was in depth biggrin
Mar 4, 2008
dandwlee:
The "wanting mittens in order to acquire pie" line almost made me shoot milk out of my nose, but I'd never kill a cat for stealing socks. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, and cats gotta have socks.
You're a doll, Carol. kiss
Mar 5, 2008

More Blogs

  • 06.12.09
    2

    Friday Jun 12, 2009

    Updated all my albums and shit today...no NOT ANY NEW PICS YET! just …
  • 06.09.09
    9

    Tuesday Jun 09, 2009

    1) I just watched He's Just Not That Into You.....and i am SO MAD at …
  • 06.08.09
    7

    Monday Jun 08, 2009

    Sounds silly but i've been updating and 'downsizing' my internet pass…
  • 06.05.09
    10

    Friday Jun 05, 2009

    So i had an test interview yesterday, wondered if i did well or not. …
  • 05.30.09
    2

    Saturday May 30, 2009

    alittle confused with some of my feelings right now...being selfish i…
  • 05.27.09
    5

    Wednesday May 27, 2009

    hit me up on yahoo msger... pharmtech88 SPOILERS! (Click to view)…
  • 05.18.09
    3

    Monday May 18, 2009

    went to a resume workshop last night... its helping with the motivati…
  • 05.06.09
    4

    Wednesday May 06, 2009

    so finally I'm taken...officially by the boy i've been crazy sprung o…
  • 04.29.09
    2

    Thursday Apr 30, 2009

    *new pics*
  • 04.28.09
    4

    Wednesday Apr 29, 2009

    Read More

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
9
months
8
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,593 SuicideGirls
  • 1,120,514 followers
  • 14,920,612 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,392,861 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo