In response to all the soul-sucking that my "friends" have been doing lately, I give you...
Gamma's Ad for Friendship
Only serious inquiries need apply
28 year old college educated female seeks friends. Here is what I'm looking for:
1.Someone with whom I can have a two-sided conversation with. It's no fun going out and listening to someone talk about themselves for 45 minutes, only being able to nod and utter the occasional "uh-huh."
2. A person who shares similar interests (i.e. reading, going to dinner, watching movies, enjoying a drink at a non-party bar). No I am not into partying until 6am, going out to your car to "smoke a bowl," hanging out in your basement while you try to touch my boobs, or hanging out in the parking lot of Dunkin Donuts with you and your friends til 6am watching you race cars and attempt to avoid the cops because you have no license, but think it's cool that you are so "bad-ass" for driving without it.
3. If you choose to talk to me online, know that I am not into "cyber." That's something I did when I was 16 years old. I'm almost 30 years old.
4. I am not prejudiced against potential friends and I don't care what you look like, your height, how much you weigh, if you have zits on your back (or if you have hair on your back for that matter), what your mother's name is, or what your eating habits are.
5. Please do not become my friend with the hope that we are going to "hook up." That tends to cloud your intentions of being friends, and really annoys the piss out of me. Also, if you are a male and you are applying for friendship and you are involved with a significant other, please inform them that I am not out to steal their man, break up their relationship, or anything of the sort.
6. I am a great listener but please don't abuse that privilege. Everytime we hang out I do not want to hear about your latest man, how you told off his ex-girlfriend, or how you were sooooo drunk that you almost got into a bar fight trying to cut'a'bitch who was talking to your new lust interest. Similarly, I also don't want to listen to you constantly telling me how much better than me you are at everything, and how you know so much more about everything (unless, of course, you really do know more about xyz subject). Please let me get some talk time in too.
7. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, do not expect me to pick up the tab everytime we go out. Yes, I make good money. No, I don't mind spending it. But keep in mind that I do not live at home with the 'rents, have one bill a month, or ignore my financial responsibilities just so I can go out. I'm not asking you to pay for me, just have the courtesy to pay for yourself.
Essentially, I am looking for a well-rounded person who is an adult, yet doesn't mind being a big ol' nerd every now and then. If you fit this description and agree with all of the above sentiments, please leave a comment in Gamma's Blog c/o Suicide Girls
Gamma's Ad for Friendship
Only serious inquiries need apply
28 year old college educated female seeks friends. Here is what I'm looking for:
1.Someone with whom I can have a two-sided conversation with. It's no fun going out and listening to someone talk about themselves for 45 minutes, only being able to nod and utter the occasional "uh-huh."
2. A person who shares similar interests (i.e. reading, going to dinner, watching movies, enjoying a drink at a non-party bar). No I am not into partying until 6am, going out to your car to "smoke a bowl," hanging out in your basement while you try to touch my boobs, or hanging out in the parking lot of Dunkin Donuts with you and your friends til 6am watching you race cars and attempt to avoid the cops because you have no license, but think it's cool that you are so "bad-ass" for driving without it.
3. If you choose to talk to me online, know that I am not into "cyber." That's something I did when I was 16 years old. I'm almost 30 years old.
4. I am not prejudiced against potential friends and I don't care what you look like, your height, how much you weigh, if you have zits on your back (or if you have hair on your back for that matter), what your mother's name is, or what your eating habits are.
5. Please do not become my friend with the hope that we are going to "hook up." That tends to cloud your intentions of being friends, and really annoys the piss out of me. Also, if you are a male and you are applying for friendship and you are involved with a significant other, please inform them that I am not out to steal their man, break up their relationship, or anything of the sort.
6. I am a great listener but please don't abuse that privilege. Everytime we hang out I do not want to hear about your latest man, how you told off his ex-girlfriend, or how you were sooooo drunk that you almost got into a bar fight trying to cut'a'bitch who was talking to your new lust interest. Similarly, I also don't want to listen to you constantly telling me how much better than me you are at everything, and how you know so much more about everything (unless, of course, you really do know more about xyz subject). Please let me get some talk time in too.
7. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, do not expect me to pick up the tab everytime we go out. Yes, I make good money. No, I don't mind spending it. But keep in mind that I do not live at home with the 'rents, have one bill a month, or ignore my financial responsibilities just so I can go out. I'm not asking you to pay for me, just have the courtesy to pay for yourself.
Essentially, I am looking for a well-rounded person who is an adult, yet doesn't mind being a big ol' nerd every now and then. If you fit this description and agree with all of the above sentiments, please leave a comment in Gamma's Blog c/o Suicide Girls
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
twisted_raff:
me too
jennynicole:
I do believe this is one of the funniest yet true things I"ve ever heard. I'm assuming I need not apply since I PERFECTLY fit the above criteria.. although I might sneak in a boob grab every now and then. lol