Dear Rain,
I regret to inform you that we will have to ask you leave the Western Massachusetts area for an unspecified amount of time. You see, our very esteemed collegue, Gamma, has decided that she no longer likes you for several reasons.
1) You suck to drive in
2) While driving in near whiteout conditions due to your persistent downpouring, it's no fun to be forced to hang on to the steering wheel for dear life while some jack ass in a tractor trailer who is hauling 50,000 pounds flies by you doing 80 while you can barely do 60.
3) It is no fun to begin hydroplaning into the aforementioned tractor trailer truck as a big gust of wind comes by and lifts your car off the ground. No, I didn't put Red Bull in my gas tank and I don't want my car to have DAMN WINGS!!
4) I don't like having soggy dogs. Because of your insistance on sticking around for like a month, I have begun to dislike my dogs and have gone to great pains to keep them corraled in one room with hardly any furniture.
5) I don't like having a soggy fiancee either. No matter how wet it is outside there is always a project outside that has to get done. You, Rain, are making my housework DOUBLE!
We sincerely hope that this letter has not offended you. Please tell your close friend, Snow, that we would appreciate it if he would prolong his absence indefinitely, too.
Sincerely,
The Sun
I regret to inform you that we will have to ask you leave the Western Massachusetts area for an unspecified amount of time. You see, our very esteemed collegue, Gamma, has decided that she no longer likes you for several reasons.
1) You suck to drive in
2) While driving in near whiteout conditions due to your persistent downpouring, it's no fun to be forced to hang on to the steering wheel for dear life while some jack ass in a tractor trailer who is hauling 50,000 pounds flies by you doing 80 while you can barely do 60.
3) It is no fun to begin hydroplaning into the aforementioned tractor trailer truck as a big gust of wind comes by and lifts your car off the ground. No, I didn't put Red Bull in my gas tank and I don't want my car to have DAMN WINGS!!
4) I don't like having soggy dogs. Because of your insistance on sticking around for like a month, I have begun to dislike my dogs and have gone to great pains to keep them corraled in one room with hardly any furniture.
5) I don't like having a soggy fiancee either. No matter how wet it is outside there is always a project outside that has to get done. You, Rain, are making my housework DOUBLE!
We sincerely hope that this letter has not offended you. Please tell your close friend, Snow, that we would appreciate it if he would prolong his absence indefinitely, too.
Sincerely,
The Sun
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
zode:
I know how boobies can get boring especially if you own your own set.
bonfirecollapse:
yeah i could see how reading it could be worse that having it stuck in your head. seriously though, i woke up this morning and the first thing in my head was......"i'm supposed to remember something?" then two seconds later.......bam! that pops in my head. 