I hate being awake at this time without him. But, then I have skype, and it's just not the same. I have been pretending to be ok. And forcing a smile. Because if I tell him how much I need him home. How much I love him and how I wish I could hug him he'll fall apart. I'm tired of being the strong one. And having days off and time to myself only makes it worse. So there is this huge part of me that wishes we never met. I wish I never kissed him. My life would be easier and less complicated. Truth is, I've been a military wife before, I know how this works. But, before it wasn't real, I never felt this way. So now I'll just listen to music. The songs that remind me of him. And keep telling myself to stop being a fuckin girl about all this shit. 9 months and 14 days. That's when I'll see him again.
our song.
sometimes just like staring at his butt.
our song.
sometimes just like staring at his butt.
philosoraptor:
Try to get out of the house! I made myself take any opportunity to get my mind off of his deployment... yeah 2009 was a rough year. I know my friends and family had a really hard time understanding what I was going through so I'm here if you want to chat about it 