Well my birthday is the 16th (just hours away) and my big excitement was paying my monthly bills and getting all my movies out of pawn. The biggest honest thrill of all though was getting back my Dad's white gold ring. It has a square black polished stone in the face and is really very simple, like my Dad. I had pawned it a few months ago to buy something to put in the pantry and it saved from going hungry, just like Dad did when I was back home and broke.
Its weird how such little things remind us so much of the people we love. Every year on my birthday Dad and I would shoot pool in the basement or at his favorite bar. We would joke about his failing vision and how it seemed to make him play more "strategy pool" (i.e.: he missed his shots more and more as he needed his glasses more and more) rather than just hanging me out to dry like he had when we were both younger.
Anyway, he had bought himself the ring when he was in the Marines and I can't remember a day he didn't have it on his right hand. When he passed away 6 years ago it came to me. I keep it on my bookcase along with a small jar of his ashes and a few pictures of him. When I'm feeling a little weak or small I wear it for the day and it feels like he's here. I can almost smell his cigaret smoke and flannel shirts and hear him shuffling his playing cards (also sitting on my bookcase) and I feel like I am where I aught to be.
Dad wanted to move out here to Arizona when he retired and my youngest sister graduated high school. She was coming with him. My folks had divorced when I was 24 but Mandy was just a little kid and she and Dad were the closest of us. He passed away the Feb before she said goodbye to school and they missed their chance at roadrunners and sunsets in the desert.
That's really why I'm here at all. I brought some of his ashes and some of his favorite things down here with me and every year I ask off of work for my birthday and I take him and his cards and I drive up into the mountains for a few hours. Usually I just head up Hwy-17 toward Flagstaff and find a rest stop with a westward facing and good view of the mountains. Then Ill tune in a country station and play solitaire on the dashboard while I bring Dad up to speed on whats going on back home and here in the valley of the sun. We talk a bit and joke some and then I drive us home. It makes for a good day and it lets me almost hear his voice again.
Well anyway, my birthday is always just before Fathers Day and its always a mix of emotions for me. I miss him so much that Im crying as I type this and I would give anything to just be able to say Hi to him again and shake his hand.
If any of you are from, or near, Manitowoc, WI (and I know some of you are) do me a favor if you have the time. Find your way to the Lincoln Park Zoo on the north side of Manitowoc. Follow the brick walk down the middle of the zoo straight in from the gate and follow it to the right as you pass the deer enclosure. Keep walking it down to where the Billy goats live. As you walk youll notice that the bricks in the walk have names carved in them of people that donated money to the remodeling of the zoo. And there, just across the walk from the Billy goats, near the little shade gazebo, youll see a doubles size brick with a face carved in it. Its my Dads brick. We bought it for him just after he passed. Its the only brick in the zoo with a picture carved in it and its Dads smiling face. Do me and my sisters a favor and just run your fingers or toes through the carving and brush out the leaves and pine needles. Id like it if he had a clear view of the river and the zoo and Im sure he would too. Thanks.
If you are lucky enough to still have your Dad around please give him a hug for those of us who no longer have the privilege of giving one to our Dads. Ill thank you for that too.
Im 35 tomorrow but Ill always be Dannys boy. And Ill always miss and love my Dad.
-gd
Its weird how such little things remind us so much of the people we love. Every year on my birthday Dad and I would shoot pool in the basement or at his favorite bar. We would joke about his failing vision and how it seemed to make him play more "strategy pool" (i.e.: he missed his shots more and more as he needed his glasses more and more) rather than just hanging me out to dry like he had when we were both younger.
Anyway, he had bought himself the ring when he was in the Marines and I can't remember a day he didn't have it on his right hand. When he passed away 6 years ago it came to me. I keep it on my bookcase along with a small jar of his ashes and a few pictures of him. When I'm feeling a little weak or small I wear it for the day and it feels like he's here. I can almost smell his cigaret smoke and flannel shirts and hear him shuffling his playing cards (also sitting on my bookcase) and I feel like I am where I aught to be.
Dad wanted to move out here to Arizona when he retired and my youngest sister graduated high school. She was coming with him. My folks had divorced when I was 24 but Mandy was just a little kid and she and Dad were the closest of us. He passed away the Feb before she said goodbye to school and they missed their chance at roadrunners and sunsets in the desert.
That's really why I'm here at all. I brought some of his ashes and some of his favorite things down here with me and every year I ask off of work for my birthday and I take him and his cards and I drive up into the mountains for a few hours. Usually I just head up Hwy-17 toward Flagstaff and find a rest stop with a westward facing and good view of the mountains. Then Ill tune in a country station and play solitaire on the dashboard while I bring Dad up to speed on whats going on back home and here in the valley of the sun. We talk a bit and joke some and then I drive us home. It makes for a good day and it lets me almost hear his voice again.
Well anyway, my birthday is always just before Fathers Day and its always a mix of emotions for me. I miss him so much that Im crying as I type this and I would give anything to just be able to say Hi to him again and shake his hand.
If any of you are from, or near, Manitowoc, WI (and I know some of you are) do me a favor if you have the time. Find your way to the Lincoln Park Zoo on the north side of Manitowoc. Follow the brick walk down the middle of the zoo straight in from the gate and follow it to the right as you pass the deer enclosure. Keep walking it down to where the Billy goats live. As you walk youll notice that the bricks in the walk have names carved in them of people that donated money to the remodeling of the zoo. And there, just across the walk from the Billy goats, near the little shade gazebo, youll see a doubles size brick with a face carved in it. Its my Dads brick. We bought it for him just after he passed. Its the only brick in the zoo with a picture carved in it and its Dads smiling face. Do me and my sisters a favor and just run your fingers or toes through the carving and brush out the leaves and pine needles. Id like it if he had a clear view of the river and the zoo and Im sure he would too. Thanks.
If you are lucky enough to still have your Dad around please give him a hug for those of us who no longer have the privilege of giving one to our Dads. Ill thank you for that too.
Im 35 tomorrow but Ill always be Dannys boy. And Ill always miss and love my Dad.
-gd
That moved me. I wish you the best for your birthday, and hope you keep cherishing your memories.
Be well,
ph