“Unconditional” has always struck me as a bit of an odd word. It’s effectively useless, except in an ironic sense. What in life is actually unconditional? We like to say things are unconditional: “I love you unconditionally.” “”This product comes with an unconditional guarantee.” Let’s examine these statements a little closer: “I love you unconditionally, I just need you to change a few things about yourself.” “This product comes with an unconditional guarantee, except for the situations listed in the fine print.
Everything has fine print. You can get the newest phone cheap but you have sign a two-year agreement. You can get a free credit report but you have to sign up for an expensive service. You can get cable cheap for the first six months but then you have to pay full price. You can return the item if you’re not satisfied but minus shipping charges and a restocking fee.
Some restrictions apply. Not available in all states. Offer not transferable, combinable or renewable. Only good on Wednesday mornings, Sunday evenings and just about any time you’d actually want the offer. Ever read a “bumper to bumper” warranty? It actually moves forward from the front bumper and circumnavigates the globe until it reaches the edge of the back bumper.
I’m just as guilty. Nothing about my life is unconditional. People get on my nerves but I like having them around. I like being around other people but I live alone. I enjoy living alone but imagine what it might be like to be in a relationship. I want a relationship but I like my independence. I’m independent but I crave attention. I enjoy attention but can be defensive when criticized. I invite criticism but I yearn for support. I want someone for support but I worry that makes me less self-reliant.
Given the constant and inherent contradiction, why do we use the word “unconditional” at all? I like to think we aspire to be “unconditional.” (Well, maybe not the cell phone company.) We certainly don’t like reading fine print but we probably don’t like writing it either. We’d like to have it all – get our cake and eat it too. After all, what good is cake if you can’t eat it?
So I’m going to keep striving for unconditional, and I hope everyone else will too. Unconditional service. Unconditional love. Unconditional peace. In the meantime though, we should probably add some fine print to the word “unconditional.” And break-ups should probably come with a re-stocking fee.
Everything has fine print. You can get the newest phone cheap but you have sign a two-year agreement. You can get a free credit report but you have to sign up for an expensive service. You can get cable cheap for the first six months but then you have to pay full price. You can return the item if you’re not satisfied but minus shipping charges and a restocking fee.
Some restrictions apply. Not available in all states. Offer not transferable, combinable or renewable. Only good on Wednesday mornings, Sunday evenings and just about any time you’d actually want the offer. Ever read a “bumper to bumper” warranty? It actually moves forward from the front bumper and circumnavigates the globe until it reaches the edge of the back bumper.
I’m just as guilty. Nothing about my life is unconditional. People get on my nerves but I like having them around. I like being around other people but I live alone. I enjoy living alone but imagine what it might be like to be in a relationship. I want a relationship but I like my independence. I’m independent but I crave attention. I enjoy attention but can be defensive when criticized. I invite criticism but I yearn for support. I want someone for support but I worry that makes me less self-reliant.
Given the constant and inherent contradiction, why do we use the word “unconditional” at all? I like to think we aspire to be “unconditional.” (Well, maybe not the cell phone company.) We certainly don’t like reading fine print but we probably don’t like writing it either. We’d like to have it all – get our cake and eat it too. After all, what good is cake if you can’t eat it?
So I’m going to keep striving for unconditional, and I hope everyone else will too. Unconditional service. Unconditional love. Unconditional peace. In the meantime though, we should probably add some fine print to the word “unconditional.” And break-ups should probably come with a re-stocking fee.