gallows

Ive had alot of rough things happen to me in my life time. Ive been in 2 car wrecks that almost killed me, ive had a friend that was murdered.. and her killer never found, ive had a cousin that was like a brother be in a horrible accident that involved him getting shot by a gun misfiring that his father happened to be holding.. Ive lost an aunt i was close to to cancer, ive lost a dog i viewed as my brother also to cancer, ive watched my aunt that i used to be very close to be ravaged by drugs, Ive had a friend die of a drug overdose, i almost saw my little cousin (brother) die after being in a four wheeler accident that broke his entire face, Ive lost both my great grandparents that i loved very much and my uncle who had downs syndrome., ive been cheated on, hated and had horrible rumors spread about me. Ive lost great freinds over stupid things and drama always seem to get ahold of me. Ive watched everyone in my family go through hell and back.

But im not writing this so you can pity me. Please dont. Please try to refrain from writing im sorry in the comments. I dont pity myself. Im happy with my life. Everything Bad that i hav gone through, I have also learned from.
All the people ive lost I miss more then most people could even understand. Id do anything to take back what has happened to them. Anything.

But I know they would want me to be happy, and the best part is that I am. I didnt die in those car wrecks. I didnt have any long term damage. I still have tons of family to help me through the hard stuff, I have a boy who is IN LOVE with me as I am with him and my real friends are always there for me. Ive been able to experience TRUE love and true loss. Ive been able to live a dream and watched another die out. I get to see and hear rain, feel the air outside and do all the things i love doing. I am so lucky to have this life.

Ive met tons of people, ive seen tons of bands, im doing things i would have never thought i would! Rough things happen to people all over the world everyday! Worse things then ive had happen to me. Some people on the world have seen their entire families killed in front of them.. or the worst thing you can imagine, there are people who have lived it. I hurt for those people and all the animals that have had to live much more horrible lives then me or anyone i will ever know. Im lucky. I have NO room to complain about anything. I can miss and cry over the loss of the people that have made my life better. But i believe that I will see them again. If you dont believe in that sorta thing, thats ok too

I just wanted to share how happy I am and how much ive learned from all this. rarely do i let a day go to waste, im not perfect so it still happens but I try my hardest to live everyday like its my last!! I think about everything in the first paragraph everyday. Not a day goes by i dont think about the people ive lost. I miss them terribly. But i know they would want me to be happy. And im so lucky i am!

<3 <3 <3 <3
You can only see rainbows after rain. Ive learned to believe and trust myself, forget about people who have treated you badly and that love is the MOST important thing you ca have.
Thank you guys for taking the time to be my friend on my naked site. I love all of you guys too!