gallas13

once upon a time a young chap went to one of the suares put on by affiliates of this here site. apparently i. . . i mean he . . .rattled the natives by trying to score a bump, or maybe i was just too drunk in general. . .anyway the protagonist was me. i don't know and it doesn't really matter. the end result is that i found myself somewhat of a pariah here, complete with a trim yet efficient set of what they call "friends" (see above), and even those are really only there for show. the advantage of this is that i can go on and on about the world, i can spread insults llike thick jelly behind other's backs, and most of all, i can name names and unblur faces.

and now, on with the show this is it!!!

this weekend - at least the good part of it - we were high. mostly. it was cold and it just kept seeming like that appropriate thing to do. it just so happened that as we were preparing to set foot out into the world to address the issue of this thing they call "munchies," we ran into the shopping cart iditerod. which we had also forgotten about. i took lots of pictures, but this one was the doozy:


now this team was apparently going with some sort of prom theme, or maybe a peggy sue got married deal. . .but that's beside the point. just look at the bloke on the left. he's not just in the race; he's LIVING it. i don't know if this team actually won anything, but i'm officially giving this guy the big goober award. congratulations.

after that we addressed the food situation, and then made a break for the slot car races. i got knocked out by some slut named "krazy kate" with a particularly tasteless purple cowboy hat. she beat me, and then got all up in my grill with her stank breath. krazy kate if you are out there: fuck you and your purple hat. that hat will never get you laid. and neither will the title "krazy."

actually, turns out the whole thing was rigged so some pot-smoking hippie dad could race his 10 year old in the finals, and of course the little snot won. i hate hippies, and what i hate even more is the fact that they are breeding. and rigging slot car races.

here's a picture of one of my buddies racing one of this crew that called themselves troop 666. how fucking gay is that? troop 666. come on jackasses!!!! show some creativity!! why not be tropp 007, or troop 1984. anyway, my buddies and i elminated all of troop 666 in the first round.

as you can see i haven't quite got the whole picture-tel thing working right yet, hence the size and blurriness of the photo. plus we were drunk and what not. . .actually this about sums up how we were all feeling at the time.

later that night i got drunker and drunker, and being as the lady was out of town . . .well, when the cat's away the mice will play, won't they? as the evidence will show, i made for two-dish's dog. i mean i figured there wasn't any realistic chance of me scoring some ass, so why not try my lines out on a different species?

i didn't wake up with the dog, so i figured nothing too dramatic precipitated. i hope you all aren't too dissappointed with the climax after that dramatic buildup.

oh well, not with a bang but with a whimper they say. . .

hopefully my scathing recountment of this weekend didn't sideswipe anybody's friends or family. if you're lucky, maybe you caught a glimpse of someone familiar in my little photo essay. maybe your girlfriend. you know, to give her someting to write home about. i don't know.

oh, the only other piece of news i have worth mentioning is that these guys released their new album today, and it of course rocks the bones, so go buy it. also, rob we are going to see them on feb. 16th st bowery ballroom. and you should come.



fin.