It comes less frequently these days, but still it comes. The overwhelming urge to chew on the business end of a shotgun... I thought I was finally past all of those thoughts and feelings. It's starting to seem like I'll never get away from them.
I need to find a good job soon. I need the medical benefits, or at very least a healthy chunk of cash to get myself into some sort of therapy... maybe throw a few drugs into the mix as well. The only thing holding me back in this world is me. Quite frankly, I'm getting tired of it.
I hope to God my daughter never has to suffer through this bullshit. I'll be keeping a keen eye on her, looking for the signs. The moment I start seeing the patterns that have plagued me in my life, we're going for help. She isn't going to waste her life being "stuck"... not on my watch.
I need to find a good job soon. I need the medical benefits, or at very least a healthy chunk of cash to get myself into some sort of therapy... maybe throw a few drugs into the mix as well. The only thing holding me back in this world is me. Quite frankly, I'm getting tired of it.
I hope to God my daughter never has to suffer through this bullshit. I'll be keeping a keen eye on her, looking for the signs. The moment I start seeing the patterns that have plagued me in my life, we're going for help. She isn't going to waste her life being "stuck"... not on my watch.
Regarding your blog, my hubby still struggles with suicidal thoughts, so my heart goes out to you hun. (((Big Hugs)))