I'm emotionally drained.
I spent the bulk of my day at work, cowering over my desk, hoodie up, blocking the view of my eyes from the people I've spent my weekdays with for nearly a year and a half now. I didn't really want them to see the two, pinkish and glassy globes that rolled around in place of what used to be bright and cheery eyes.
I was short with them. I didn't join in with the usual reindeer games. Normally, I'm the instigator. Someone has to stir the pot of shit, then slyly back away once it starts to bubble to watch the aftermath... it's fun to do where I work. Gives me a little evil grin every time. But it's all in fun. No one leaves with hard feelings. It's just friends busting friend's balls.
Friends.
Family... they've been my surrogate family since I started working for them in Sept. of 2007. It's a wonderful business... and they are wonderful people. It's small and family owned. Family.
I'm going home for family... they need me most right now. But I've realized that I'm leaving a family behind. And today, as I told them that I needed to move home as soon as humanly possible, I broke down in tears. I was afraid of how they would take it. I don't want to let them down. My job, or more importantly, the people I work for/with are at the top of the short list of reasons I should stay in Portland...
They told me that they don't want to see me go, but know that I have to after I laid out for them the changes I saw in my grandfather when I was home for Christmas...
I always have a home in SW Portland... a second family. It is going to hurt like hell to leave them, but I know that they'll be there when/if I return someday.
Now...
As I stare at my screen through the fish-eyed lens of tear stained eyes... I'm here to inform any and all that the wheels are officially in motion.
By March 1st (Grandpa's birthday) ... I'll be home.
I spent the bulk of my day at work, cowering over my desk, hoodie up, blocking the view of my eyes from the people I've spent my weekdays with for nearly a year and a half now. I didn't really want them to see the two, pinkish and glassy globes that rolled around in place of what used to be bright and cheery eyes.
I was short with them. I didn't join in with the usual reindeer games. Normally, I'm the instigator. Someone has to stir the pot of shit, then slyly back away once it starts to bubble to watch the aftermath... it's fun to do where I work. Gives me a little evil grin every time. But it's all in fun. No one leaves with hard feelings. It's just friends busting friend's balls.
Friends.
Family... they've been my surrogate family since I started working for them in Sept. of 2007. It's a wonderful business... and they are wonderful people. It's small and family owned. Family.
I'm going home for family... they need me most right now. But I've realized that I'm leaving a family behind. And today, as I told them that I needed to move home as soon as humanly possible, I broke down in tears. I was afraid of how they would take it. I don't want to let them down. My job, or more importantly, the people I work for/with are at the top of the short list of reasons I should stay in Portland...
They told me that they don't want to see me go, but know that I have to after I laid out for them the changes I saw in my grandfather when I was home for Christmas...
I always have a home in SW Portland... a second family. It is going to hurt like hell to leave them, but I know that they'll be there when/if I return someday.
Now...
As I stare at my screen through the fish-eyed lens of tear stained eyes... I'm here to inform any and all that the wheels are officially in motion.
By March 1st (Grandpa's birthday) ... I'll be home.