gabriel_rain

Sometimes I'm afraid to say good bye to friends anymore. Things are always changing and I'm no different. Many of my friends back home expect me to be the same and when I call them they know me but they sense a difference. Only one of my friends who's been through the military knows that I will be different but to others they have a freeze frame idea of me. My dad alone brought up a problem I long took care of but in his mind it was critical. Perhaps by not saying goodbye one can continue the converation and life without putting a period at the end. I realize that sometimes i think too deeply about things and make decisions that make me older, but being far from family and friends they don't see these changes and I don't see thiers. In a way I'm tired of being left out of the loop and tired of writing them and talking on the phone, I'd rather do it in person. I also have to make some important decisions within the next year. I know, a whole year, but during this time I'll be farther away. I have to decide wether to continue being a soldier or to try to make it in the civilian world. But may be its hopeless to try to catch up on the lost time, yet how much more am i willing to lose? I want to see my sisters grow up and see my friends every day, but I like the honor of being a soldier. As with most decisions there is a bitter almond taste to them. I also want to see the ocean again. Bodega Bay in California is the best. I love the rolling hills, forest, and the cliffs that drop off into isolated beaches. I also miss drinking Aguardiente and Vodka with friends and being there for them. Anyway, I hope you are all well and please tell me whats on your mind. tell me where your spot to escape is... like the ocean, to a friend, or anything if you want. Take Care