gabby

update on "im not doing so well" and then i saw this and it made me feel really, REALLY good about myself. I never really realize that I'm "good enough" for anything. And honestly, this site has done nothing but given me the confidence that I once lacked. I know a lot of the time I post sappy bullshit about what's going on in my life, but really it's people like you guys, who make up my life. So I figured I'd share with you, the honest to god, fucking truth. Good and bad. Going into "becoming a suicide girl" I was this shy, quiet girl, and I guess I never understood the potential that I had, and was constantly doubting myself. Too put it bluntly, I've goten better about it, but at times still feel that way. I'm constantly comparing myself to "her" or "that girl on the front page" but you know what lately I've felt like "FUCK IT!" I mean, yeah, it would be nice to look like Jessica Alba for a day, but that isn't me. Lately, I've been having weight issues, I'm just being completely honest, and I feel like my body looks like HELL. (Not to metion, completely off topic, I lost my fucking nose ring today.) Anyways, where was I, right... Yeah I mean I guess all girls go through this shit right? My friends now find it as a problem, my weight issue, and are attempting to take matters into their own hands. I don't really find it fair however, that they get to determine the weight that they think is appropriate for me. It's my decision. I know this is going to sound ultra corny but, ever since I was little, (yes, those famous fucking SAPPY lines) I've wanted to be the model on a billboard in the middle of a BIG city, we're talking, Los Angeles, New York, hell VEGAS. And be "THAT GIRL" I know looks fade, but this is what I LOVE. It's my passion. Eventually, I want to design clothing, but for now... I would kill to be in some magazine, where people who doubted me, said all these horrible lines that i cant seem to part with in my head, can pick it up, and say... "Damn, she really did make it." Instead of just dreaming all of this shit up, and hoping it finds me. p.s kindra and frolic i love you babies, so so much. thanks frolic for telling me i was on the page!
xoxo gabby