every
day that goes by where i survive with minimal mental and physical resources, only encourages me to neglect my body more.
Last night, i got shitty drunk.... I slept for 5 hours then, woke up still stinking like a booze hound. I stayed home to sober up to go to work, bought some gum and large coffee on the way and suffered through with minimal pain.
Now, my first urge is to find the nearest party and rockit like last night. I'm fucking tired, and i don't care. I think i'm going crazy again....hyped-up, insomnia ridden, restless, intoxicated frisky lunatic. I suppose fucking with my meds probably ruined any stability they created. Well, i suppose the sketchy red powder i put in my nose last week didnt help either, or the lsd, or the alcohol....or the caffiene, or insomnia.
It's funny, a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts. Harbinger of Debauchery. I was felt up, down, kissed and smacked like a peice of virgin ass in prison last night. I left alone, like a good girl. I said i would be, and i was. I think instead of sleeping i actually passed out. It was sexy.
Everything in my life turned upside down. and now i feel like im walking around in the world i used to see when i was a kid and sat upside down on the couch. So familiar and close, yet fucking disturbingly wierd. Things will settle as time goes on, but i feel like i would if i had put a shoe on the wrong foot. i don't know.
rambles go on and on
day that goes by where i survive with minimal mental and physical resources, only encourages me to neglect my body more.
Last night, i got shitty drunk.... I slept for 5 hours then, woke up still stinking like a booze hound. I stayed home to sober up to go to work, bought some gum and large coffee on the way and suffered through with minimal pain.
Now, my first urge is to find the nearest party and rockit like last night. I'm fucking tired, and i don't care. I think i'm going crazy again....hyped-up, insomnia ridden, restless, intoxicated frisky lunatic. I suppose fucking with my meds probably ruined any stability they created. Well, i suppose the sketchy red powder i put in my nose last week didnt help either, or the lsd, or the alcohol....or the caffiene, or insomnia.
It's funny, a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts. Harbinger of Debauchery. I was felt up, down, kissed and smacked like a peice of virgin ass in prison last night. I left alone, like a good girl. I said i would be, and i was. I think instead of sleeping i actually passed out. It was sexy.
Everything in my life turned upside down. and now i feel like im walking around in the world i used to see when i was a kid and sat upside down on the couch. So familiar and close, yet fucking disturbingly wierd. Things will settle as time goes on, but i feel like i would if i had put a shoe on the wrong foot. i don't know.
rambles go on and on
Well, whatever happens, just remember to have a great time!