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g_felix

Member Since 2002

Followers 26 Following 8

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Sunday Jan 26, 2003

Jan 26, 2003
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Sharing something here....

I was raised by my Grandmother(paternal). She passed away at age 90 in 1999.

Her last 3 weeks on this earth were not comfortable for her. I spent a goodly amount of her last 3 months with her. She told me that she was ready to go. She wanted to go.

About 3 days before she died, we were talking and she wanted to know why she had not left. I did not have an answer for her but I always felt that it was because it is so hard to let go.

When in our lives can we let go of our pretentions, our facade, our "face-man"? What muscle do we unclench? How do we let go of that?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
g_felix:
Having a hard time finding you Seventyfive. Keeps taking me back to the home page and I could not find you in Hookup.

Anyway....

A couple of things got me on this train...
1. I will have been married for 9 years this April. My wife and I have been together for a little over 10 years. I have found myself acting in certain ways simply because that is the way I have always acted given certain situations.
My response is not correct anymore. I am changing, as we all do over time, but I'm acting the same way.

How much of what I do is simply by rote? How do we be awake and alive enough all the time that we engage with our surroundings and not just exist?

2. My father-in-law may have cancer. His white blood count went from 11k, up and up to 60k. They are running tests and have ruled out a lot but don't know exactly what is wrong. He just seems a little different when he talks now. Like things have different importance to them. Why are we not like that all the time?
Jan 27, 2003
inkvisitor:
i am sorry to hear about your father-in-law...i hope for all the best...

people say it's good to take a step back once in a while and look at things...almost like an out of body experience--but just long enough to see where you are in relation to other things, since most of the time we are so tied up in our lives we cannot see the outside...

i am around...here and there...we'll be in touch wink
Jan 27, 2003

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