fusionface

You always want what you can never have.


Fuck it. I need a vacation from my vacation...thank god the weekend's coming up. Suppose I'm gonna take it easy for a change. I really need to kick back and let my body heal. I need to recruit a female touch to rub me down, smooth some lotion into my tats. I'm in desperate need of a good massage. My ex-girlfriend used to give the best massages- its what she went to school for. I miss those days. Suppose once I'm good and relaxed I can just chill till' the next episode....I need to clear my head and get straightened out...deal w/the weird shit that's been going down as of late. Granted, things have been good this past week, maybe the best of my life...but there's the simple fact that I realize I'm drifting away from the best friends I've ever had- its been a real mindfucker. Change is good, but its not always easy to deal with. I'm a different person than I was just a year ago...or maybe I just let a few qualities of mine come out that I used to keep hidden....I'm still mainly an introverted individual, but I hate it when the shyness takes over. I have this need to be recognized and its within the bottom of my soul...it pushes everything I do and everything that I am. This is why I need to get shit done...get it together. I'm tired of half-assed projects that never come to fruition....and thats all that ever seemed to happen w/my old crew. A few bright sparks and then a slow, laborious return. I've forgotten more good times than I can probably remember, but dealt w/the bad shit all the way through.
This weekend I'm definitely gonna kick it, think about the highlights of my life, think about what got me to where I am. I might also ponder on the evening I met the girl who used to babysit my ass dancing for me at the strip-club...now that was a good night....funny too. Funny the way shit works out like that.....Anyways, strip club incidents aside,
I've had alot go down
in the
short time
that I've
been around
Stabbed and shot
chasin after girls
too hot
Gave my soul away
only to feel
the slow decay
my brain left to rot

Wishes of illusion
draw no conclusion
as to the depths of hell
I've travelled
but somehow I made it back
completely intact
in fact,
I got some stories to tell

I communicate best through my art. I've never been good at talking to people. The only way for me to show myself is to present a part of me as something of a visual riddle....a graphic image of something I've been through or a representation of an emotion. Maybe one day after I've died, someone will be able to decipher what was going on in my head. But I need to get to work on some new pieces....alot of strange days have been had and I've only communicated about %1 of them. If I could put all the most bizarre, fun, crazy, and stupid incidents of my life together into a series of pics, then I'd have a whole musuem's worth of material. Guess I got my work cut out for me.....and it doesn't help that you SG's keep getting me into new predicaments that I'll remember for the rest of my life.



So enough of the rambling. I guess I just had some things to get off my chest, whether anyone actually reads this shit or not. I'm out.