fusionface

Alrighty then....So I think I figured out why I've been so down/zombified/disinterested/bored/anti-everything-super-apethetic-
I-could-give-a-fuck-I-don't-even-
want-to-get-laid lately.....its called Doxepin, and I've stopped taking it effective today. Damnit, I feel so much better, and fucking ALIVE as well....it almost felt like I was living life through a fuzzy black & white television with the volume turned down...sort of like when Ed Norton talks about how lack of sleep over a long period of time makes you feel in Fight Club......picture that character as me.......yup. Basically, I haven't been myself. Granted, it did turn down my anxiety, but I think that would have sorted itself out anyways. Don't always trust what the doctor tells you! Damn....and I was just having problems with hives...which I'm still dealing with after a month and a half. The doc said it was most likely due to anxiety, so he prescribed me the aforementioned medication to take. Sex seemed to work sooo much better for curing my ailment. Plus it didn't turn me into a child of the undead...

So I got another doctor appointment on Tuesday, and maybe this time the doc won't prescribe something that will make my brain numb. That shit may work for some people, but I actually like to interact. Shit, if they're gonna prescribe me stuff that changes the way I see things and feel, then give me some shit that makes my life look like a fucking cartoon. That'd be a blast! I'm talking portable holes, safes falling on people's heads, laughing uncontrollably over nonsense.....that's what I want!

Actually, this year's been the most sober I've been in a long time, and I sort of prefer it that way...Just fix my fucking problem with my hives damnit! For a healthy person, I sure visit the doctor alot. It didn't use to be like that.....I'm not that fucking old. Its starting to make self-medication look like a positive step in the right direction...