furnier

Ever just have one of those weeks? I am so stressed and depressed. Don't ask why. No clue here. Just having a bad week and thought I'd come here and moan about it. I know how you guys love it when I moan. ha ha ha ha ha.
My honey's stressing because we don't have alot of money right now. Gas company's screwing us, I'm still trying to figure out how we rack up $160 gas bill in 2 months in summer. Soo, we haven't had hot water for three days. I want a hot shower sooooo bad. I need to go out and get a second job, but I can't really do that until we get whatever's wrong with my back sorted out. Ten months after my surgery and NOW I'm having problems. It's just not fair. I'm living on non-narcotic painkillers at the moment. He's all stressed because of the money. He's managed to comment atleast once every day for the last week that I need to get a "real" job and always while his brother or someone else is here. Gee, that makes me feel really good. I know he's a little stressed too but give me a break. He's also mentioned recently that he's realised how badly he wanted a kid which does nothing for my self esteem, since kids are no longer an option. We tried for a year before the surgery so I shouldn't feel bad about it but I do. I wanted mini-me's too.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitching about him per se. I don't think he even realises any of this. That's my fault. I haven't really talked about it with him because he's been so stressed at work and I don't want to add to it, you know? How do I tell him when he says I need another job that I have trouble just getting through my two days a week right now?
All this and I'm giving myself the occasional panic attack. lmao. Been awhile since I got stressed enough to do that. fuck.

Okay, I take it back, I guess I do know why I'm so stressed and depressed. lol Come on, someone distract me. Make me laugh. I could use a good laugh.