furiaa

When I was in High School they made us read "The Catcher in the Rye" and I didn't understand it very much, I was really innocent and I didn't understand it, I didn't feel connected to the book at all, but I re-read it this past week and I got it, now I really got it and it depressed me.
Since I finished school, I realized I didn't know that much, I barely know a little more now and I'm on my own and it depresses me.
In school I had lots of good grades, I was good at everything except sports, I was a lousy runner, but I had A+ in almost everything. The last years of high school I started to get depressed, unmotivated and started getting C's in classes with phony teachers. I started the university and it was the same, good grades in classes I liked and not so good in classes I didn't like.
The thing is I wanted the book to have a happy ending, to tell me what to do since I'm like Holden, unmotivated but smart, I am really good at somethings I like. At the end he goes to a psychoanalyst... that depressed me, I don't think that answers anything.
So fuck the book, I know its a classic and all but its a very depressing book. That's why I was ok with reading "Twilight" and "New Moon", those books are not depressing, but living in fantasy is now the answer either.
I guess you have to know what you like and give it all your energy and no one knows it all. Just don't give up the thing you like, even if you are not the best, those are the things you like and they'll make you happy.
I want to live by that, do the thing I like and be happy, that is all.
Fuck! That was the message of "The Catcher in the Rye". A crazy good book that depressed me a little because it describes something that's real for me. Sometimes you have to sink to start floating.

Some recent self shots:


I rarely wear pink :S. I want my hair to grow, I don't know what to do with it as it is...

This song kind of goe with that same catcher in the rye mood...

Instinto invited me to that concert yesterday and I helped her selling official merch from the band and they gave me a free shirt! I'm happy, its an amazing shirt by illustrator Dan Mumford, he's amazing! He is a screen printer too so he knows how to do illustration for t-shirts, I want to do that too!