funmeatwad

This going to be a sad post having an awful day I feel like sharing my life on here cause I can't on fb cause ppl judge me.
When I was a kid my mom had me when she was 18, my father left me for reasons I'll never know and hope not to know. I lived with her for a little while in my childhood and went to my grandparents on the weekends. eventually I wanted to movie in with my grandparents when I was a kid because, my mom's boyfriend beat me and she didn't know, he also had a son that he treated way different than me . I love my mom but she just was so mixed up in stuff I don't really get to talk to her that much. After I moved in with my grandparents when I was older I started dating and I was young in middle school so it wasn't really anything. But once I got to High School I had one that her friends convinced her to brake up with me cause I was to clingy and needy . Then my next one cheated on me before she I went to her house that day and didn't find out till after she dumped me, then my ex senior year in high school set everything in motion she treated me like shit used me for car rides. I fell in really bad depression tried over dousing and ended up in the hospital for a week. then my last ex used me for money, treated me like shit, made me feel bad about everything, and all I ever did was please her and make her happy while I was miserable, she wanted me to get a job so bad when I was attending college in Madison my grades eventually slipped and I got a job she wanted me to get and guess what she does to me... leaves me right on the day of my orientation. I lost my job and was depressed. Even though I have been treated like complete garbage, used, abused, and left down on the ground. I still I'm the nice guy, all I want is love, all I want is that special someone at the end of the day to look at me and say "I love you." that someone to be cute with. I also vowed I would never be like my father and leave a child behind , also I would never hurt anyone I care about.
Now today here is the bread and butter to this whole thing, I had someone msg me on Facebook saying there my cousin and they know my father, I'm really pissed, depressed and angry all at the same time, the person gave me his number and told me his number now I have no fucking idea what to do. at least I can post how I feel and vent, I want to punch my father in the mother fucking face and tell him how fucking shity my life was, but look at me I'm a better person than you will ever be. Need a hug, need a cuddle... so sick of the lonely shit and this to make the icing on the cake I hope my day gets better its only 9 in the fucking morning god damit, when can everything just fall into place for me for once! Hope everyone else has a better day than me