Bad news guys.. it wasn't Jesus after all. I was too high on crystal meth to realize it was my grandfather, who in no way resembles Jesus at all. I apologize for any inconvienance and all service charges to your credit cards will be handled professionally by myself and my team of experts. Nothing else to report except i do seem to have an oozing sore on my crotch and it does seem to be related to my week long stay in a brothel outside of little havana. If you have had any kind of sexual encounter with me in the past 6 months (including if i served you a drink because chances are i mixed the aforementioned drink with my genitalia) please contact me and we will come to a monetary compromise.
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