funkabella

its me again and im running away. im running away because i cant run to you. the only thing i know how to do is run away from you. i fell for you to hard, i fell in love. i dont love freely at all, and this came out of nowhere. i miss you already and i havent even left yet. i cant deal with you having others. that is my deal i know, but i cant. it breaks me. i cant get it out of my head and my stomach is nauseous because of it. im popping my pills because i cant get a grip on this. i feel really confused and like i feel so stupid and naive. obviously i was/am naive and everyone knew that except me. i'm easy rite, like parcheesy. theres so many others that are in line after me and well before me that are willing to do this. but i cant i want to so bad but i cant. someone said to me, in 10 years how important will this be honestly, and i actually thought about it....i thought god itd be amazing to have you there 10 yrs from now. i came along at the wrong time wrong place but overall honey i'm THE WRONG PERSON im not your type im not the rite one i was rite for the moment. and so were they. i love you so much it hurts. and you know that. id do anything in the world for you, any fuckikng thing you asked ya know. and maybe thats wehre i went wrong, maybe my friend was rite when she said playing hard to get works more. but when we are together it feels better and safe to me, even though i know the nite before you had someone else in your bed, the bed i'll be sleeping in that nite. i want to hear your voice i want you to tell me not to go away but i know that wont happen. i just want to stop thinking about this. i dont want to cry about you and the never ever happening cuz angie isnt rite situation. rejection hurts. you know that. rejection isnt anything compared to this. i cant change you and i love you for who you are. but i dont think i was meant to be in your life. i think it was a mistake. i dont know how to talk to you to make you know what i feel. i wish you could feel this for 1 minute solid. i should have left a long time ago. but i cant leave because i miss you and want to see you and hear you call meand tell me you love me like freshly cut grass LOL whatever i dont know. you probably wont read this. im not calling. i cant. i will cry. please dont forget me. i love you so much. its killing me. you will never ever be forgotten for so many reasons you have no idea. i could write a god damn essay on it. not wanting to sleep with me because you slept with someone the nite before hurts so bad. like so so bad, but thats angies problem not yours. so i go away once again LOL lets all shake our heads with dismay and hope i get my shit together. one day in the future i hope yhou realize im different. i just am. but i know im not as hawt as them so that factors in. whatever i have to go chainsmoke lol
BITE ME WORLD