more old stuff, i dug all of it out and read it. this isnt poetry, its my journal, this is my diary, all of these words and ramblings and thoughts. all of the mis-spelled words and quotations that are used to frequently or not enough. I have a huge folder, of scribblings. through deaths, engagements, abusive boyfriends, cheating boyfriends, betrayal of friends, lies, drug addiction, the need for acceptance, bipolar, mania, and so much more. verbally i cant communicate this well, and the people i could communicate this with are dead, and the others are not accepting of me in their lives right now, i am not on the important list, probably never was. i was the your good enough for right now , chick. although i thought i would never become that. annnnyways...yep!
madness creeps up on you
ever so slowly
like the sickest of theives
robbing your soul of who you know
and rampaging your life
like a monster from childhood nightmares...
never did i think i would be paralyzed
by psychosis
impulsively striking confusion
a havoc reaking living breathing thing
that feeds off of the sick outter society
like an addict im in withdrawl
i am without madness
trying to stifle the beast within
no weapons to use
unable to win
give up and surrender to violence and hate
give up the madness
to long is the wait
waiting for silence to beckon within
waiting to stop taking pleasure in sin
needing the pain
avoiding the sane......
that split second choice
that wont go away
you knew what you were doing
you were there to play
to fuck and to fuck
then be erased
he had no feelings involved
only the cum he shot on your face
he gave you power
but you gave him more
he said i want you now
bend over
you let him in the back door
whore
you love the sex
even the delivery
the drop off is what sucks and fills you with self pity
oh yeah and i was thinking...knowing you want me makes me want you even when i dont. it makes me wear my jeans tigheter, my shirts smaller, it makes me wax my cunt and dye my hair. i shake my ass more when i walk, and i flirt with more people . its an ego trip i never thought id feel. thanks for the confidance boost asshole, i dont need you anymore. fuck you!
madness creeps up on you
ever so slowly
like the sickest of theives
robbing your soul of who you know
and rampaging your life
like a monster from childhood nightmares...
never did i think i would be paralyzed
by psychosis
impulsively striking confusion
a havoc reaking living breathing thing
that feeds off of the sick outter society
like an addict im in withdrawl
i am without madness
trying to stifle the beast within
no weapons to use
unable to win
give up and surrender to violence and hate
give up the madness
to long is the wait
waiting for silence to beckon within
waiting to stop taking pleasure in sin
needing the pain
avoiding the sane......
that split second choice
that wont go away
you knew what you were doing
you were there to play
to fuck and to fuck
then be erased
he had no feelings involved
only the cum he shot on your face
he gave you power
but you gave him more
he said i want you now
bend over
you let him in the back door
whore
you love the sex
even the delivery
the drop off is what sucks and fills you with self pity
oh yeah and i was thinking...knowing you want me makes me want you even when i dont. it makes me wear my jeans tigheter, my shirts smaller, it makes me wax my cunt and dye my hair. i shake my ass more when i walk, and i flirt with more people . its an ego trip i never thought id feel. thanks for the confidance boost asshole, i dont need you anymore. fuck you!