today i ate several chocolate bars in an attempt to assuage my growing fear that i will never marry. afterward, however, i remained unfulfilled. this confirms to me that life as i know it is over. that is, it will never change, it must be forever a series of disappointments and delectable chocolate delights.
later i tried to drown my sorrows in the endless pleasures of auto erotic stimulation. again, my hopes were dashed and i was left unfulfilled and sad. sexual pleasure, chocolate, the arms of a wonderful puma-wearing man... nothing can replace the hair that was lost. it is lost to me, but it was not lost. it was taken. a woman, claiming to be my mother, did take scissors and, though she now claims to have intended removal of only a few split ends, did shear me bald. my hair is gone. what more do i have in this world but my beauty? and how can i be beautiful if i am bald? only some freak in the marines would want me now, and barring that unlikely possibility i am a pariah, outcast from the haired society, and left to sob in my room, endlessly abusing my poor nether regions, praying to find solace in the pornography which only makes me sicker each day. woe is me, or am i woe itself, personified. you be the judge, you pompous shit. i dont even care.
later i tried to drown my sorrows in the endless pleasures of auto erotic stimulation. again, my hopes were dashed and i was left unfulfilled and sad. sexual pleasure, chocolate, the arms of a wonderful puma-wearing man... nothing can replace the hair that was lost. it is lost to me, but it was not lost. it was taken. a woman, claiming to be my mother, did take scissors and, though she now claims to have intended removal of only a few split ends, did shear me bald. my hair is gone. what more do i have in this world but my beauty? and how can i be beautiful if i am bald? only some freak in the marines would want me now, and barring that unlikely possibility i am a pariah, outcast from the haired society, and left to sob in my room, endlessly abusing my poor nether regions, praying to find solace in the pornography which only makes me sicker each day. woe is me, or am i woe itself, personified. you be the judge, you pompous shit. i dont even care.
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
thecowboy:
...why have you forsaken me?...
jjay:
oh your looking for infinity? Go about 4 blocks down main street hang a left on 15th right past the dairy queen than go a half a mile or so and wait for the sun to reach its pinnacle. After that continue another half mile down and trun right at the methodone clinic. After that talk to the bum sitting outside the denny's to the left. Ask him about the weather, he'll than hand you a rolled up newspaper. Make sure to thank him and than leave. Continue down the rode untill you reach the Chevron on your right. Fill up the empty gas can sitting in front of the palm tree. Don't worry about paying they will be expecting you. After that continue down the rode untill you reach the green house on the left. KNock on the door and talk to the old lady. Ask her about here cats and than show her the rolled up news paper. She'll start talking about how small the print is and pull out her glasses. After she has looked at the paper ask her to borrow her glasses. Take the glasses and go into her backyard. Hop over the next three fences and turn right down the ally. In front of you will be a McDonalds, burn it down using the news paper, gas, and glasses. Wait for the firemen to come than steal their truck. after that its a straight shoot down 20th street and your there. If you see the man dressed as a giant condom you've gone too far.
