fuckdollie

So things have been crazy the last few months.

Last summer I met an AMAZING Woman who stole my heart, but she played with it for far too long...
telling me that we had to just be friends, because she couldn't trust me or forgive things I had done in the past, but would then still get upset and jealous when I went out with people who found me attractive.
Finally, I tried to do what would be best for us and just move on, so we could just be friends...

So then, I met an awesome Man who treats me wonderfully, and is SO understanding....
He wasn't threatened AT ALL by my relationship with my ex... and even was fine with the idea of me continuing my relationship with her, as long as we were all on the same page...

So we tried it... I had a relationship with each of them, separate from the other,
but after a week she realized she couldn't do it, that she didn't want to share me...
and she wanted the life we had together months before... so she backed out.

Then she got SICK, had surgery, got infected, and needed support.... but seeing me HURT her.
Because I couldn't be hers... I was with somebody else. So she pushed me away, during a really hard time for her. She was left alone, and I was left feeling guilty for not being with her during such a difficult time.

Shes getting better, she will need more serious surgery down the line....
My relationship with my boyfriend is going great, and I love him...
Yet still I am MISSING her, and the life we had made together before ALL this happened.

Argh.