fruitless

i'm feeling pretty good tonight. i have a competitor for a chain fight. a beer in my hand and bi'm bleeding profusly from my genitals. i got my lorums pierced tonight. things are really starting to look up for me hope the same to you. oh ya it's really cold tonight.

Well i offically ended it tonight. but i still feel awful. I need someone to date now. I don't mean date as in like fuck. just someone to have a good time with, like to stay occuipied. another shitty thing is she on the same jobsite as me. so i have to see her no matter what. she's gonna miss me. but i'm not going...
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I want her
I want to see her smile.( it's been so long)
I want to her laugh
I want to wake up next to her
I want her to kick the problems
I want to be friends again
I want to fuck
I want to trust her again
I want to mean something
I want to know what she isn't telling me
I want...
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Never in my life have i ever felt this alone. I have been staring at my phone all day hoping she calls or someone calls for that matter. i even get denied by my goddam laptop hoping that someone has written. i'm fucking panicy latley. i've lived with somebody for a longtime and it sure is hard to remember how to deal with being alone....
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I AM SO FUCKING HUNG OVER!!
me mybuddy vern and katie all went out last night. it was a whole bunch of fun. we shot some pool told some jokes and drank way to much. but this morning i'm debating whether to puke or not. wat to many pints last night. it helped me forget about her for the night tough.

What a shity fucking weekend i need to get out today but i probaly sit on my ass all fucking day long and feel preatty o.k. with what i accomplished. i wish someone would apporoch me with some handcuffs and a ball gag or maybe i'll just go get pierced.

how fucking great is this i'm sitting at the coffee shop by myself once again. i had a little conversation with a guy outside. i should be at the bar but it's too fucking expensive.
that and i have to work overtime tomarrow so that throws my whole fucking weekend into the gutter. i was planning on get totally fucked up tonight. oh well better...
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i'm a good kisser your a fast learner and that kind of thing could float us for a preatty long time. and one day you'd realize you'd have memorized my old number and you'll call it and find it's a dissconnected line. cause i got tossed out the window of loves el camino. and i shattered into a shower of sparks on the curb. you...
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i'm a good kisser your a fast learner and that kind of thing could float us for a preatty long time. and one day you'd realize you'd have memorized my old number and you'll call it and find it's a dissconnected line. cause i got tossed out the window of loves el camino. and i shattered into a shower of sparks on the curb. you...
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could my life get any better wow. what a wonderful moment to be alive. i might be losing it but it feels great i'm just overwhelm with this this well fuck i guess it's happiness. nothing happend that was good today. i by myself and i feel fucking fantastic. hope your day is going just as good.