this time i'm done. i can't do it anymore. she is seriously turning me into an emo kid for sure. i'm just kinda being a bitch right now. i had to much to drink last night and that seems to happen alot lately. and it's getting to the point where i almost always blackout with no recollection of what the hell happend the night before. last saturday i believe it was i had got hit by a car on lake street. but i don't remember it happening. my friend britney told me all about 4 days later. I purposed to someone with no recollection of that ever happening. I guess i just love drinking. and i'm becoming all the things i hate inside her. i just need some new people in my life who i can go hang out with and kinda restart this little life of mine. because i'm on a downword spiral that way it is. on a better note it's snowing outside today. maybe i'll find that special someone today that wants to go make snow angels with me in the park. 