fruitless

Never in my life have i ever felt this alone. I have been staring at my phone all day hoping she calls or someone calls for that matter. i even get denied by my goddam laptop hoping that someone has written. i'm fucking panicy latley. i've lived with somebody for a longtime and it sure is hard to remember how to deal with being alone. i have been on the brink of crying all day and i'm not even sure why. last night i saw a couple fighting at a bar. and all i could think about was her. i miss her, i miss all the relationship shit. waking up in the morning and knowing you didn't sleep alone is a wonderful feeling, one feeling i don't have the luxery of having . i cant make it on my own.