frontman

analogies suck: part1.

picture yourself as a child for a moment.
young. very young. so young you have no experience - no basis for comparison. two years. maybe 3.

you have a dog. you dont know that not everyone has a dog at that age - and thats why you think i its bloody marvelous. well, actually you dont. you just take it for granted. i mean, you're 2. you have no idea.

well, one day - the dog is gone. there really isnt an explanation, at least you cant recall it - he could have been hit by a car or run off or been stolen - you dont know. you just know the dog is gone. that sucks. i mean, what do you do now? a very short period passes and suddenly - your mom decides to bring home some other dog.

that sucks. i mean - wtf? you really have no interest - this isnt the dog *you* knew. time passes and you just dont trust the thing - i mean - the first one was taken away or destroyed or something - and you really have no idea why - so how do you know this wont happen again?

time erodes everything.

..eventually you grow to like the dog. even trust it. you show some affection and the darned thing is fun to hang out with. man are you suckered in.

years pass. as you get older - you realise you dont get along with the dog. in fact, the dog despises you. why - you arent really sure - but its not a good scene. perhaps the dog has worms? anyway - it starts to get violent - and barks all the time. eventually - you are in your teens now - your mom decides enough is enough - the dog and you just dont get along and eventually things are going to get violent - so she gives the dog away..

well, the dog doesnt want to leave. it keeps coming back no matter what you do - it would be laughable if it wasnt so fucked up. i mean - dog - go the fuck away! nope. shows up the next day at the door or the window. or hangs out on the block. eventually it gets a little nervewracking..

well, time passes. the dog will NOT relent so you call the dog pound and decide that maybe it just has to be put out of its misery..well it doesnt like that one bit. in fact - it gets violent. really violent. it attacks you and your family and it has these nasty teeth and man does that suck. ever see someone put in the hospital after a dog attack? yeah. fucking sucks. but you deal, and the dogpound eventually gets the dog and you dont really have to deal with it anymore. dealing is over. now you can relax [whew] knowing that you won't wake up to that damned dog trying to hang out again. how bizarre is that anyway?

i mean, what kind of dog attacks its family?

whatever the case, you think that your mom would swear off dogs, but no. she keeps getting them and brings then into your life and eventually you just say 'fuck you' and get the hell out. mostly these dogs she picks SUCK. so wtf? you think she would learn? nope. every strange mutt that passes her on the street gets invited into the house for a month or months and next thing you know the dog is a permanent resident.

as a sidebar, eventually she randomly picks a dog that isnt so bad - but you still dont trust 'em. can you ever trust the dog?

flash forward to today. now. the present. you are many years older. decades.
the bomb drops. you find out that the first dog is still around, and guess what? the brother of the dog contacts you because he wants to get together. WTF? so what the hell is that about? what kind of dog is still alive after all these years, and after splitting decides to say 'woof' and wants to just hang out again? and then gets his brother dog to call?

stupid mutt. is that unbelievable or what?
i mean, whats next? flying pigs?

so what to do? what is the response to this dog that left you when you were a kid and now wants to hang out?
how could you even have real memories of that first dog? how could it be real? how could it come back and expect you to want to respond?
it blows me away.

talking dogs suck.