friedhamster

I'm sorry hamster, I didn't see your questions. I mean it's just that I had a lot of shit happen to me and there were different ppl I trusted that I shouldn't have. I thought that people would have watched my back when they didn't. I mean, it's my fault because I put my faith in ppl. I can see going though this kind of bullshit when you're 18 or 20, but god...I was still going through this bullshit this year and I'm 36. A month after the September 11 thing (sorry for using it as a point of reference) five years ago I got bludgeoned with a shutgun during an attempted robbery while I was deliveing a pizza. A lot of things happened, I suffered a traumatic brian injury from it. I have had a lot lot of complications becuase of it, and one of those things was that I lost a lot of friends over it. I was just about to go back to college to finish my bachelor's in mechanical engineering. I was living in Dallas ATT, Garland, to be more specific, and for the next two years straiight all I did was see doctors. I went to neurocognitive rehabilitation therapy for six months straight. I heard a lot of stories about people who had lost friends and the like over a TBI. I didn't live in Dallas that long, and I didn't know very many people, and one thing led to another because of roomate situation, I ended up in Ventura, of all places, because it was a friend of a friend sort of thing, lol I ended sleeping/hanging out on the beach for six months (and tbh, that was the most relaxing, enjoyable thing I had done in a LONG time). Then, last year I helped my dad move down here to Abluquerque from Colorado, and he was cool with letting me move in with him. I had already gotten back on my feet in Colorado, I had an apartment and a car and so it was because I wanted to be around family that I decided to move in with him. He didn't really talk about it with my stepmother, and we had problems b/c of it, and I ended up getting the boot. I think they were being unreasonable for the most part, because even though I try and not let it show, I'm dealing with a lot of things. And I really copped and attitude with them because I think they were being unfair. Physically and emotionally it all came to a head with me and I couldn't deal deal with all the bullshit. I've stayed in shelters, and they are the worst. I would rather sleep on the beach or pitch a tent by a river bank than stay in a shelter, and that's exactly what I did. See, the thing is that I am still recouperating from the TBI I sustained and am even still on medication for it (not narcotics, mind you). My support system fell through in Dallas but I think that's because people some didn't try hard enough to help meet my needs, and I don't think that my demands were too unreasonable. For one thing, I need to rest a lot because my body physically demads this of me, it's not that I'm being lazy. In fact, it was so bad (and still is) that I had the money the whole time I was sleeping in a tent but I just couldn't...deal. As the summer moved in, I finally started mustering the strength to go apartment hunting...finally..after looking for about a week found a place. Anyway, I mean, there are people and programs that can help but the thing is that these programs fell through when I needed them the most. I dotted all the lines and crossed all the t's like I was supposed to but on the other end people didn't do what they said would said they would do and didn't act like they said they would...act. I mean, like I applied for housing support here in Albquerque but the day I went to turn my application in they said they weren't taking any more applications for the next six months. One thing I have learned from all of this is that ppl will fuck you over just as well as be your friend, and it's funny how you can never tell what side of their cheek they have turned. I have never really been this way, I don't like being mean or screwing someone over unless I really think they have it coming. Anyway, if you wanna see pics of me in the ambulance, look in my folder.