fresnel

Wierd times here. Last night i got drunk with one of my friends that i hadn't seen in awhile and saw wedding crashers. it was pretty good. i was amused. so i get out of the movie and i feel kinda hung over. i get home and watch the 4400. a fucking awesome show. next week is the season finale. i'm stoked.

ANYWAY, now to the really story on my mind. after that i decide i'm tired and that it's time for bed. this is like 2:45 am. At 3:30 i stutter awake to screaming and pounding on the wall that leads to the front entry way. i am of course sleeping in my panties, cause it's fucking hot (the city that is). i wrap the blanket around me and find my roommate in a state of hysterics. she was robbed in the corridor of my apartment building.

i used to be afraid of burglers when i was little. one of my neighbor was robbed once, i was a dramatic child. as i would drift off to sleep i would imagine men in all black breaking through my window. all i could see were there legs. i'd always force my mind to make them skip through fields of tall grass and daiseys. sometimes it would work, other times it wouldn't.

i start building trust with new people, strangers, then something happens and i start to close off again. not that this is exactly how i feel right now, but i see it happening to my roommate, and it does definately happen to me. it's like being so in love and then getting your heart broken. you want to believe that everyone is good, but you just can't, cause the fact is that not everyone is. sucks.

crazy. we live in a safe neighborhood. i didn't wake up to the buzzer. she didn't call me. he took her wallet and her phone. the police came. i put on clothes. she's fine. we go to bed. old thoughts of burglers dressed in black return and i force them start skipping through fields of flowers again.