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freon

Just a little blip you'd drive right by.

Member Since 2004

Followers 17 Following 28

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Tuesday Mar 01, 2005

Mar 1, 2005
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Well, the weird headspace has started to sort out.

Recently, I sent off a volley of pigeons carrying my resume to at least two of the four corners of the corporate world. Yesterday, my worst fears were confirmed.

I've got an interview.

Normally, I like interviews. This is because I apply for jobs I want, rather than need. I like being an independent contractor. The money's nice, but it is the schedule that keeps me coming back for more. The freedom... Now, with April looming, the bills stacking and the money reserves dwindling, plus two months without solid work, I find myself in a valley of rocks sitting on the hard place. I can hold out for a little while longer... play the attrition game. That is a risky call.

I have no desire to get a "real" job. I'm applying for writing/editing positions because I'm good at them. This one will want me to work on-site more than an hour away, full time. That means commuting into DC daily. This means sacrificing a significant portion of my life to the corporate and governmental gods.

You mature ones out there can tell me to quit my bitching, that it's something everyone has to accept at some point in their life.

Well, no. I don't want to accept that. That is not the kind of world I want to live in. I don't need a career working for an educational corporation. I just need enough money to get by for the moment, until contracting picks up again. Until my book is written. Until...

Spoken like a true metalhead.

It's not the nature of the work or the commute that makes me squirm. It's the hours. Commutes are annoying and I know we all have to put up with crap jobs we don't like. Believe me, I've done it. I just don't want to work a 9-5. That's no fun. Want me to work a whole lot of hours in a row? Groovy, I work better when I get on a roll. You say you want me to work three 12-hour days a week? Fine, I say! I'll beat myself ragged for three days just to enjoy four days of down time. 8 hours a day for 5 days is a concept I am loathe to accept. That steals so much more of my time than long hour, heavy-workload days.

Besides, there are so many other things to do. Camper Van Beethoven and Cracker are playing up in New York in March. Pennsic is in August. Kilimanjaro is tentatively set for September. I'd like to visit my brother in London when he studies there next fall. Strapping Young Lad is touring through April.

With all this living, how can I have time for work? I desperately want to find an answer to this. Sadly, none have presented themselves. I just don't want to continuously place myself in an environment where I am constantly wishing I were somewhere else.

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