Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

fred

the hidden dimension of bad metaphors

Member Since 2002

Followers 87 Following 280

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Sunday Jan 05, 2003

Jan 5, 2003
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email

Wow, I got this letter in the mail today:
...
Dear inveterate crack-addict sir,
It has come to my attention there is a gold lam jumpsuit in your possession that is the property of my ex-wife's second cousin.
This is a cease and desist order to overturn your efforts to dunk said jumpsuit in a 60 gallon tank filled with electric eels.
Also it has come to my attention that there has heretofore been moderate sized globs of oatmeal in the shoes of said complainant every morning.
According to the statutes of the state of Nebraska the moderate sized clumps shall end. At minimum these globs shall be no greater than 5 cm for the next 30 days. After the expiration of the smaller sized globule schedule the oatmeal may be replaced with raisins or discontinued altogether.
Your compliance in these matters would be appreciated otherwise we shall seek to bust some caps in your hindflank. At minimum we will schedule a planting of our shoes in your tailpipe.

"the man"
...

Jeez, what could it mean?


- + [[ Gone fishin' - be back 1/12 ]] + -
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
joyrider:
the chair is against the wall, jasonp.
Jan 6, 2003
tic_tac_toe:
catch anything?

[Edited on Jan 10, 2003]
Jan 7, 2003

More Blogs

  • 09.25.10
    1

    Saturday Sep 25, 2010

    I can't believe it's nearly 10 years since I first signed up for …
  • 12.19.09
    2

    Sunday Dec 20, 2009

    Keep eyes off the small mind manifesto Letting go brings so much…
  • 12.15.09
    0

    Tuesday Dec 15, 2009

    Okay, I just needed to get out more. I'm still feeling like dogshi…
  • 12.11.09
    2

    Friday Dec 11, 2009

    When my dad was in the hospital for lymphoma they gave him somethin…
  • 11.29.09
    4

    Sunday Nov 29, 2009

    Ugh... I'm in an awfully bum-kicked state of mind. That last …
  • 07.14.09
    6

    Wednesday Jul 15, 2009

    A HA It's been exactly a year. Wow, a lot of things to try and get …
  • 07.15.08
    3

    Tuesday Jul 15, 2008

    One step closer to death
  • 07.03.08
    2

    Friday Jul 04, 2008

    Yo yo yo FRED is back in town! Got plenty to update on but that…
  • 12.15.07
    10

    Saturday Dec 15, 2007

    Notice: SPOILERS! (Click to view) I've decided I'll be out of here i…
  • 12.11.07
    5

    Tuesday Dec 11, 2007

    I've decided I'll be out of here in a month. My year end subscript…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
25
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,600 SuicideGirls
  • 1,114,303 followers
  • 14,949,527 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,464,887 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo