Okay, I just needed to get out more.
I'm still feeling like dogshit most of the time, but the severe heavy grief is gone.
It was timed right to the weather. All of this emotional turmoil right at the time of this cold windy rainy weather.
Now it's bright and clear and warmer.
I had one of the most amazing days of my life Sunday. The spirit was with me.
I dedicated my life to Christ in church. That's not even a joke.
There were so many synchronicity moments leading up to it that it just happened.
I believe in spirit, and many that follow it follow it through Christ.
I met someone that same day like a prayer answered. I don't know how it will work out, but at least I can see there's a life out there for me eventually. When you're in the bottom of dark pit it's hard to imagine that sometimes.
Just knowing that it can happen again, and that I was living a very limited life for many years opened my eyes.
I had gotten into state of mind where all I could think about was the girl I had lost.
I'm a putz actually because I was the one that broke up. I was just too disconnected to realize how it would affect me.
I have to be careful to not get too wrapped up again. The emotional feelings are still sore.
It's a dull empty ache that turns into vague anxiety when it gets dark.