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fred

the hidden dimension of bad metaphors

Member Since 2002

Followers 87 Following 280

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Tuesday Oct 14, 2003

Oct 13, 2003
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10/14 == my birthday

Holy crap I'm 35 fuckin years old!!

Actually I was starting to brace for this since I was 33. "35" sounded horrible.
I was dreading it, but now it's actually pretty cool. It's a wierd kind of relief.

The hardest age for me was actually 25. That one blindsided me. I first noticed the first slightest receding of hairline. The first tangible gut wrenching feeling of "I'm getting older"
Now, I could care less. It's all holding up pretty good anyway. I can pass for 25 still easily. No health problems, so no big deal.

Internally the wierd thing is I still feel adolescent in a way.
But then again I know no longer even try to pursue "fun" and I don't even feel bad about it. I used to feel bad about not having enough "fun".
I don't even care anymore. I just do whatever I want mostly, which isn't much.
The older I get the less I care about what other people think and the less urge there is to do something, prove something. Being a codger/hermit is cool! I can't wait until I start getting grizzled.


I just saw a DVD about Tim Leary's last days before he died. The guy was running around party animal not like a 73 year old with cancer.
He did all that crazy hippy acid partying philosophizing starting in his 40s.

The key to youth is freshness, and idealism and... vim!
Okay, maybe lacking in vim somewhat, but I'm always optimistic I can get it back like I've done before with some hard exercise, or drugs, or something.

I look at my own dad. He's 59 but he looks about in his forties and he acts like he's in his twenties.
Genetically my dad's side has guys who act and look younger than they are.

I hang out with *really* old family members, 80s and 90s. This makes me feel young.
I luckilly have a job where I can be an eccentric social retard... and thrive! This keeps me young.
I don't care about status, material possessions, or other people's approval too much... I think that keeps me young in a way, free, or just wierd possibly.

Well... just gotta say it feels good to be around for this long.
I'm in good health and all things considered it's pretty good...

I'm still kickin it down here on planet earth!
ARRR!!! tongue ARRR!!! tongue ARRR!!! tongue
(Wow, I actually feel like partying now...)
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
jayne:
happy late birthday to you, fellow libra
smile

xoxox
jayne
Oct 21, 2003
llona:
yeah, it really is an amazing place.
I'll never forget walking from 9th and A to 7th and 14th early monday morning alone. it was amazing.
plus it's completely crazy romantic. i wanted to meet someone and be in central park and smooch a lot.
i'm really amazed at how little sleep i needed as well.
xoox
Oct 23, 2003

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