fred

This morning was pretty good.
I woke up feeling pretty well rested.
I got to see my chiropractor, which helped me with my neck.
At work I'm finally back what I'd like to be doing, so things are going well on that front.

Tonight I just saw a biography on Bukowski, Born Into This.
I really got into it.
I drank a bottle of wine earlier, but not in a planned way. I just felt like it because it's almost the holidays and I'm feeling pretty confident things will go well tomorrow.

So, I was actually inspired by it.
I'd read snippets of Bukowski here and there, but the actual guy was not quite what I expected.
He was a drunk old bum for the most part, but fierce and articulate regardless.
For me the most inspiring thing for me was that most of his success came at a late age, after many years of dingy living and protracted failures. The guy didn't really even hit his stride until he was in his forties.

Sometimes I feel like I need a role model of some kind, since I'm almost 40 now.
Timothy Leary is kind of the same way. He didn't become well known until the age of forty.
I guess my role models are old, degenerate outsiders now.

Yeah for Timothy Leary it was acid, and booze for Bukowski. For each I think it made them who they were and it ruined them at the same time.

He knew how to speak his mind. In interviews by european press they'd ask him things like, "What is love?" and after a drag on a cigarette or a drink from a beer he'd pause briefly and give a good answer.

So I admire how he was true to himself. I wouldn't want to live such a drunken, filthy life though.

Oh Yes

there are worse things than

being alone

but it often takes decades

to realize this

and most often 

when you do

it's too late

and there's nothing worse

than 

too late.