I am not a martyr! I have never represented myself as anyone other than who I am. If you expect more than that...you will be disappointed. How dare you belittle my morals or my williness to openly express who I am, or strive to be. If I have opened my doors to you it was for my own selfish gain more than likely. I am not above searching fo approval and acceptance. It might be all I am looking for. No, that is not all I am in need of, I have longed for equality in all my relationships. Friend, family or lover...you will all be treated as my equals. How inconceivable of you to assume I am any different than you, other than possibly being able to find a sort of peace and satisfaction knowing that any memory of me will always be pleasant. You will never be able to reflect on my misgivings...only my charity. Never a bad taste will be left in your mouth. Forever left with the reminder of "that girl", the one who gave everything...but just didn't hold your attention. What do you think she did it all for? Out of the goodness of her heart, possibly....because that was all she knew how to do. But did you give it in return? Can you live with that weight on your shoulders? To know that someone you once knew, gave you her soul...and you ignored it? And again I state, friend, family, lover...where were all of you when I turned...riding forth on the wave of sanity I helped you catch. Enjoy, maybe you deserve it more than I. Maybe your own personal strife was more than these innocent eyes would ever see. Maybe you all blindfolded me. Kept me in the dark. I know the same kind of pain...you are not as individual as you think.