freakqueen

*sigh*
there are few things i hate more than questions like, "what's up?"
the entire reason i keep an online diary is so i don't have to answer such mundane quesitons.

i think i've done a lot of growing recently. My fantastic day reflects this.

years ago, i'd spend nights sitting on my tree, staring at the stars and moon wondering why i felt so different; so alone.

-i am a tree hugger, a pathological collector of CD's, an artist, a writer, an athelete... I am many things. So next time you go around fucking patronizing carpenters and models with me right beside you, i want you to realize how insulted i feel and how ignorant you appear -

i realize that people have their bad days. And on these bad days, bitchy words seem to pour with unstoppable ease. you, however, were in a good mood.

onto the topic of asexuality... i joined asexuality.org.
i shit you not.

sex. my mind relates this topic with torquil. The boy is doing something i seriously disapprove of. And i gave him an ultimatum.
"what?! are you serious?!"
"yes"
*looooong stretch of silence*
"ok, i'll review the situation."
"that's not enough"
"even if it's not, it's more than I'd do for anybody else. You know this Diana, you KNOW this."
not enough...but it'll do. for a day. If he can't decide by the end of today, i'll walk and make the decision for him.



i got a brazilian bikini wax today. It was the most wonderful experience! It didn't hurt at all. I kept anticipating pain, but received nothing but smug satisfaction.
it was similar to my first tattoo.. Everytime i felt the artist's hands poised against my skin, i'd tense....but would relax as soon as the needle started humming and doing it's thing against my skin. hey, this isn't so bad

we discussed pubic hair and boys as she twisted me in random positions. I was mostly on my back, with my butt and legs in the air.
at one point, i was on my elbows and knees with my butt in her face. And she made me squeal. And laugh.
the customer next door heard me.


I am getting sutured for fun sometime soon. Not sure when. Just soon. And my mind keeps drifting towards suspension.

hmm. i'm in the process of writing a book. i have the first draft and a cover letter. but i don't know how to go about sending it to publishers.

i've been singing silly, silly love songs. And the boys are besotted and I am smiling.

which reminds me:
keith called and wished me a happy new year.
stupid thoughtful jerk
he made me smile
grrrrrrr

one of these days, i'm really going to have to pos the e-mail that made me break down mid-December. In fact, i'll do so now... and not give a shit about the length of this entry.

From : Keith
Sent : February 20, 2003 9:18:16 PM
To : diana

| | | keith | Inbox


Wow,, I broke my rule. I think I fell asleep at about 4:30 today... Just woke up. Must admit though I don't feel as crappy as I thought I would. I was sitting in class this morning and kinda got worried when I could'nt focus on the teacher.. Then a little more worried when I realised I could'nt focus on the music right in front of me.. Oh well, all better now. Oh yeah you left your coat here last night. I managed to survive the day without crutches,, Although was walking like a gimp most of the day, dragging my left foot. Anyways, I guess I should go start that law term project that's due tomorow..



You wondered if there could be anymore moments like the one when I said that, at that moment, you were the most impotant person in my life.. I'm not exactly sure what your feeling in the moment was, but for me at least, I don't find it hard to live in that moment, because I feel so lucky right now to be a part of your life, that that moment is always, and it keeps feeling better and better. So as long as you stay a part of my life I'm not worried about losing that moment, because right now, Right now I can't see a time that you wont be the most important person in my life. In this moment, In that moment.

-drop me a line if you get this today. I'll be up pretty late I'm guessing.

I love you so much, and so much more . -Keith

From: diana
To: keith
Subject: por fin
Sent: February 19, 2003 9:54:46 PM
Just got changed and i'm just waiting for my mom to locate her keys.

i think i left negatives at su casa
Zoe called me quite a few times it seems, i will call her back in the car

hasta luego,
Diana

...................................................................................

funny how i can read all that now and just smile in memory of how awesome it all was.

speaking of fantastic things via e-mail... kristen sent me this. I love mornings that start off on a delighted laugh.