A rant.
A big fat, fucking rant.
I'm unsure of where to start.. but believe me. Once i do, i won't have any problem continuing.
all the honest comments i got the other day struck home. My bmezine journal doesn't lie. But my SG journal does. A lot.
Why? Because non-members can read my entries. But i need an online journal that i will keep updated that my non-modded friends can keep track of me with.
Unfortunately, because these friends read my journal, i have to lie. I can't write about them. And i must censor my thoughts.
If journals were a trade... SG would be class C; bmezine, a class B; and my actual journal a class A.
i miss keith. Sometimes i miss him and i do crazy things like vomit. Othertimes i miss him and it's OK. Like, right not.. it's OK. But the vomitting really isn't. It's bizzare. I didn't even vomit when i was pregnant with his kid. Lost 10 pounds cuz i felt like vomitting everytime i even smelt food. I want to talk to him. And we had that talk scheduled for today. But it doesn't look like it's happening.
Which isn't that bad of a thing. Lately, all talks regarding emotion and us has ended with me screaming at him and him walking out. ......not exactly looking forward to that.
I won't lie. I've got my hang ups. And i'm not over him enough to be into someone else. And i don't care enough to put in the effort of pretending like i am... so no more boyfriends for Diana for a very long time.
[LMAO! there are so many things i want to share. Things that were shared on BMEZINE. Like how if my vagina could puke, it would. ]
LET'S MAKE ONE THING CLEAR. KEITH AND I HAD THE MOST FANTASTIC SEX I'D HAVE EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE.
....imitated but never replicated......
my rant has been diverted from my conversation with torquil. His calls have extraordinary timing like that. Basically every time i get emotionally built up.
btw.. his comment about my meeting with keith is
"You're fucking stupid!"
"wha?"!"
"YOU'RE not stupid. But the action is"
Everytime someone increduously says, "you're friends with torquil ?!? i fucking hate that kid"
... i love him just a little bit more.
Cuz i'm that bitch that's just looking for a reason to hate you and knock you out.
speaking of negative feelings... for all those boys with your propositions of love.... now you know how i feel!!!
pic of the day: jetted tub with a bubblebar from lush. *shudders from the lovliness*
A big fat, fucking rant.
I'm unsure of where to start.. but believe me. Once i do, i won't have any problem continuing.
all the honest comments i got the other day struck home. My bmezine journal doesn't lie. But my SG journal does. A lot.
Why? Because non-members can read my entries. But i need an online journal that i will keep updated that my non-modded friends can keep track of me with.
Unfortunately, because these friends read my journal, i have to lie. I can't write about them. And i must censor my thoughts.
If journals were a trade... SG would be class C; bmezine, a class B; and my actual journal a class A.
i miss keith. Sometimes i miss him and i do crazy things like vomit. Othertimes i miss him and it's OK. Like, right not.. it's OK. But the vomitting really isn't. It's bizzare. I didn't even vomit when i was pregnant with his kid. Lost 10 pounds cuz i felt like vomitting everytime i even smelt food. I want to talk to him. And we had that talk scheduled for today. But it doesn't look like it's happening.
Which isn't that bad of a thing. Lately, all talks regarding emotion and us has ended with me screaming at him and him walking out. ......not exactly looking forward to that.
I won't lie. I've got my hang ups. And i'm not over him enough to be into someone else. And i don't care enough to put in the effort of pretending like i am... so no more boyfriends for Diana for a very long time.
[LMAO! there are so many things i want to share. Things that were shared on BMEZINE. Like how if my vagina could puke, it would. ]
LET'S MAKE ONE THING CLEAR. KEITH AND I HAD THE MOST FANTASTIC SEX I'D HAVE EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE.
....imitated but never replicated......
my rant has been diverted from my conversation with torquil. His calls have extraordinary timing like that. Basically every time i get emotionally built up.
btw.. his comment about my meeting with keith is
"You're fucking stupid!"
"wha?"!"
"YOU'RE not stupid. But the action is"
Everytime someone increduously says, "you're friends with torquil ?!? i fucking hate that kid"
... i love him just a little bit more.
Cuz i'm that bitch that's just looking for a reason to hate you and knock you out.
speaking of negative feelings... for all those boys with your propositions of love.... now you know how i feel!!!
pic of the day: jetted tub with a bubblebar from lush. *shudders from the lovliness*
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
i like the boys. I have an insty crush on Rubella.
random keith comment : i'm sure there will be boys that are more perfect for me. but that relationship was really the most beautiful.