Now, as many of you probably know, I hate my job. I've hated my job for a long time. But right now it's the only one I've got so I'm still there because I can barely afford to pay my bills half the time as it is. I'm looking for new work. I've been looking for new work for months now. Everyone and their mother seems to be able to get a job... just not me.
Anyways... I work in a warehouse. My job is to receive shipments of stuff and distribute it around the store to the proper departments. I'm supposed to have steel toed shoes. I don't because they're at my parents' house in Fort McMurray. I told them that when I started working in the warehouse and told that while I would not be covered under WCB (which I'm okay with) that there wouldn't be a problem and to get my boots as soon as I could. Which I am. Next week. Today however... I was informed that I either had to purchase new boots (which I can't afford) or I would not be allowed to work in the warehouse. I also forgot (for the first time since I've started working at Futureshop) to change into my work shirt. I was told that it was the last time I would be warned and that next time I would either be sent home or fired. I have NEVER been talked to about my work clothes in the entire time I've been employed with the exception of a few times I forgot to tuck in my shirt. And all of this occurs within fifteen minutes of me walking in to the building to start my shift tonight.
I want to quit. I almost quit two months ago but ended up staying on because I didn't have another job to go to and realized that I would be very broke very quickly if I didn't keep working. I switched departments and reduced my hours in the hopes that I wouldn't be as stressed out and I would have more time to look for a better job. That worked for about two weeks. I have not found a new job. I've been applying to jobs left and right for months now. There's no shortage of work out there. Sadly most of it sucks as much (if not worse) than my current job. Or it pays less. Or both. I'm lousy with people. I have next to no marketable skills. I've got a college degree in theatre tech and I like to think I'm decent enough at it but there's no work in that. I've picked one of the stupidest possible career paths and pretty much doomed myself to a life of jobs that make me want to slit my wrists. I could probably go back to Fort McMurray to live with my parents and work at an incredibly shitty job for a few months and make a ton of money. But then I'd have to drop out of choir and miss tour. I'd probably miss part of the festival season in Edmonton. And on top of that I know that I'd miss my friends and the shred of a social life that I have so much I would probably drink myself into an irreversible coma. Although at this particular moment that doesn't seem like the worst idea in the world.
I want to think that I'm not doomed to work jobs that I hate for the rest of my life. I want to believe that some day I'll be able to pay my bills without constantly worrying that cheques will bounce or my cards will be declined. I want to be able to actually have a life. Maybe even be able to afford a vacation again. Right now, with the exception of tour (which I'm having a hard time justifying at this point) I probably won't be leaving town again until September at the earliest. I can't afford the time off let alone the travel expenses. I'd like to have my own place some day instead of staying where I am because the rent is painfully cheap (and even that I can barely afford). I'd like to enjoy my job. Hell... I'd like to have a job I enjoy that lasts more than six weeks. I love the summer festival season but that's the only thing resembling theatre work I get all year. I'd like to be able to stop lying to my parents when I tell them that I have enough money to get by. I'd like to pay them back the thousands of dollars I probably owe them by now.
I want to believe that I'm not destined to go on hating my life.
Oh yeah... and I don't even get to enjoy the playoffs this year. Whee.
Oh. And tack on to that the fact that I'm a shitty roommate, a shitty tenant and a pretty shitty friend as well.
Anyways... I work in a warehouse. My job is to receive shipments of stuff and distribute it around the store to the proper departments. I'm supposed to have steel toed shoes. I don't because they're at my parents' house in Fort McMurray. I told them that when I started working in the warehouse and told that while I would not be covered under WCB (which I'm okay with) that there wouldn't be a problem and to get my boots as soon as I could. Which I am. Next week. Today however... I was informed that I either had to purchase new boots (which I can't afford) or I would not be allowed to work in the warehouse. I also forgot (for the first time since I've started working at Futureshop) to change into my work shirt. I was told that it was the last time I would be warned and that next time I would either be sent home or fired. I have NEVER been talked to about my work clothes in the entire time I've been employed with the exception of a few times I forgot to tuck in my shirt. And all of this occurs within fifteen minutes of me walking in to the building to start my shift tonight.
I want to quit. I almost quit two months ago but ended up staying on because I didn't have another job to go to and realized that I would be very broke very quickly if I didn't keep working. I switched departments and reduced my hours in the hopes that I wouldn't be as stressed out and I would have more time to look for a better job. That worked for about two weeks. I have not found a new job. I've been applying to jobs left and right for months now. There's no shortage of work out there. Sadly most of it sucks as much (if not worse) than my current job. Or it pays less. Or both. I'm lousy with people. I have next to no marketable skills. I've got a college degree in theatre tech and I like to think I'm decent enough at it but there's no work in that. I've picked one of the stupidest possible career paths and pretty much doomed myself to a life of jobs that make me want to slit my wrists. I could probably go back to Fort McMurray to live with my parents and work at an incredibly shitty job for a few months and make a ton of money. But then I'd have to drop out of choir and miss tour. I'd probably miss part of the festival season in Edmonton. And on top of that I know that I'd miss my friends and the shred of a social life that I have so much I would probably drink myself into an irreversible coma. Although at this particular moment that doesn't seem like the worst idea in the world.
I want to think that I'm not doomed to work jobs that I hate for the rest of my life. I want to believe that some day I'll be able to pay my bills without constantly worrying that cheques will bounce or my cards will be declined. I want to be able to actually have a life. Maybe even be able to afford a vacation again. Right now, with the exception of tour (which I'm having a hard time justifying at this point) I probably won't be leaving town again until September at the earliest. I can't afford the time off let alone the travel expenses. I'd like to have my own place some day instead of staying where I am because the rent is painfully cheap (and even that I can barely afford). I'd like to enjoy my job. Hell... I'd like to have a job I enjoy that lasts more than six weeks. I love the summer festival season but that's the only thing resembling theatre work I get all year. I'd like to be able to stop lying to my parents when I tell them that I have enough money to get by. I'd like to pay them back the thousands of dollars I probably owe them by now.
I want to believe that I'm not destined to go on hating my life.
Oh yeah... and I don't even get to enjoy the playoffs this year. Whee.
Oh. And tack on to that the fact that I'm a shitty roommate, a shitty tenant and a pretty shitty friend as well.
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
I know that others here have asked, but is school a viable option for you?
...and you're not a shitty friend, either. Far from it. If not for you, I don't know where I would be at times.