Well the flat packs are no longer flat. i win. Ha.
Went back work after 3 days. I hated it. The place is a pile of crap. Theres so many things i hate about it now, its putting me on a real low. So for those in a good mood stop reading now, I think im gonna go off on one.
Theres a bloke, I guess he's a priest or vicar. Every week he stands on a little self made alter preaching the bible. A few watch him many mock and laugh, Most try to aviod walking past him. He stands there saying how we should open up to god, the lord jesus, To go without the Lord is to live in darkness. I hear this as i walk past. To me hes a mad old man. But as a child i always remember the whole thing of what he said. The darkness bit. I always remember a talk that a preacher gave us once he was standing by the door saying how to deny god and would deny us entry in to heaven. He used the door in the room and said that we could try and try to open the door, but we would never get in as god would not accept those who didnt believe. And we'd be lost. Its always stuck with me. I dont believe there is a God as you know, I believe there is a soul. I believe there is something but i will never accept were being judged now. Weve all failed if so. We've lied hated and the whole human race is a mess. But then i refuse to be sorry for being human and lay my life to a god. The only person who i would die for is DayDreamer She's the only person that I know that is real. Everyone else i know in this crappy city i wait for them to show there real side. All this crap swirls in my head and as i write this all that i conclude is right now the door is locked. The whole situation at work how its become is sucking the life out of me. I now doubt myself more than ever from there constant put downs. I feel more alone than ever. I feel i am in the darkness. And thats only gonna push me further away from everything. And ill lose sam in it all. That i dont want ever. The priest in the street the preacher from my childhood, they all had there strong beliefs so strong they made me think, perhaps too much. Now i need to believe in something to make others think. Starting with myself. Its daft all this talk of gods i remember we were close to gods ourselves. When we were children. Think about it. we could anything we wanted. It was all in our imagination but it was there. So maybe it was all false and we were naive. But isnt it the same now? In the age of paranoir? Just with more destruction in the world?
Ive booked a week off in febuary before the SGUK leeds meet. Hopefully i can return to the place with my notice. Im sick of feeling this low.
Went back work after 3 days. I hated it. The place is a pile of crap. Theres so many things i hate about it now, its putting me on a real low. So for those in a good mood stop reading now, I think im gonna go off on one.
Theres a bloke, I guess he's a priest or vicar. Every week he stands on a little self made alter preaching the bible. A few watch him many mock and laugh, Most try to aviod walking past him. He stands there saying how we should open up to god, the lord jesus, To go without the Lord is to live in darkness. I hear this as i walk past. To me hes a mad old man. But as a child i always remember the whole thing of what he said. The darkness bit. I always remember a talk that a preacher gave us once he was standing by the door saying how to deny god and would deny us entry in to heaven. He used the door in the room and said that we could try and try to open the door, but we would never get in as god would not accept those who didnt believe. And we'd be lost. Its always stuck with me. I dont believe there is a God as you know, I believe there is a soul. I believe there is something but i will never accept were being judged now. Weve all failed if so. We've lied hated and the whole human race is a mess. But then i refuse to be sorry for being human and lay my life to a god. The only person who i would die for is DayDreamer She's the only person that I know that is real. Everyone else i know in this crappy city i wait for them to show there real side. All this crap swirls in my head and as i write this all that i conclude is right now the door is locked. The whole situation at work how its become is sucking the life out of me. I now doubt myself more than ever from there constant put downs. I feel more alone than ever. I feel i am in the darkness. And thats only gonna push me further away from everything. And ill lose sam in it all. That i dont want ever. The priest in the street the preacher from my childhood, they all had there strong beliefs so strong they made me think, perhaps too much. Now i need to believe in something to make others think. Starting with myself. Its daft all this talk of gods i remember we were close to gods ourselves. When we were children. Think about it. we could anything we wanted. It was all in our imagination but it was there. So maybe it was all false and we were naive. But isnt it the same now? In the age of paranoir? Just with more destruction in the world?
Ive booked a week off in febuary before the SGUK leeds meet. Hopefully i can return to the place with my notice. Im sick of feeling this low.
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and that band is will haven!!!