I'm being stalked. It's freaking me out.
It's a long rant! sorry!
It's a long rant! sorry!
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Seriously. The guy I told you about a month or two ago. Quite a good friend who suddenly came out saying he loved me. I told him we couldn't be together. Then I broke up with my boyfriend...we got drunk and had sex. Big mistake...I know...but he was a good friend, felt safe and comfortable. Anyway, I told him the next day that it was a mistake and that I still didn't want a relationship. I could tell he was hurt, but he said he understood. Anyway since then, the past 4 weeks or so, he's periodically been making huge drama. Wanting to see me everyday, smsing me 20 to 30 times a day. Teksting how much he loves me, when can he see me, sometimes literally begging me to spend time with him. If we did meet he would look at his clock when we parted stating how long we had spend together and pondering weather it was enough. He has issues which I can't talk about, but this leaves me understanding a certain amount of his loneliness and need for attention. So to a certain point I went along with it-seeing him for coffee, cooking for him but always clearly stating that we were friends-if he wanted to kiss me or hold me I would tell him "no, it's not happening-we're platonic friends...nothing else". I really, really, care for him...but not in that way, I just know it wouldn't work and all the drama just reinforces those feelings over and over again. He kept saying "we'll see, one day I'll make you love me...maybe"!!! ...and then smile and giggle which always left me thinking he was joking. I naively thought that if I just stayed clear everything would be okay. Every time I confront him on the fact that I feel pressured, that he's too intense and that I feel he wants more...he says he's joking and he's sorry and yet he keeps teksting me, keeps saying I'm "his" sexy girl.
He lies and manipulates situations to get my attention. This is just one of many examples: after a fight about him upsetting me at a party he phoned the next day to tell me he was leaving town and wanted to explain why he had acted like an ass at the party and say goodbye. After much discussion I agreed, I'm not someone who holds a grudge nor do I like fighting. So he came round, said his piece, said he was leaving for Germany the next day and we "made up" I wished him all th best etc etc, as one does and we had a nice hour, over coffee and just enjoying each others company like we usually do . Then the next day he phones to say he's not leaving....he's found a new job and has decided to stay here and can we meet for coffee, what to do...we had just made up...can't say no, right?!....Then after 1 day he's stopped working again, that's if he ever had a job in the first place. And is back calling me everyday...begging for time, smssing me non stop.
Okay I'll briefly tell you his shit....The thing that worries me I guess, or actually leads me to understand him is the fact that he originally is Muslim. He ran away from Liberia when he was 17, he hasn't seen his family for 8 years and his brothers were thrown into jail after he ran off. He escaped through Malta into Europe, has been trying to get the status of political refugee in several European countries since then. He saw MP do what ever corrupt muslim military police do and talked bad about Gadafi, that in Liberia is enough to be hung. Can you imagine being away from your family at that age for so long? Plus there's the whole muslim thing about not shaming the family. He's carrying a heavy heavy burden and has many issues with guilt, that he can't let go. He's lived homeless and hand to mouth for so long. Now he's settled-illegal-but settled. I want to help him, even contacted Amnesty International who were rather interested in his case, But I can not substitute his family or be what he wants me to be. I am me, I am free.
He thinks if he keeps stating that he really REALLY loves me....that I will love him back, if only I could understand how happy I make him...I would have to love him. How could I not....that's what women are for right....making men happy! Western women don't work that way dude!!!! I'm not a headscarf, Boerka wearing woman, I'm a fucking SG
I make men happy in other ways, ways that make me happy too. He's not a practicing Muslim and has never spoke anyhow derogative about a woman, is disgusted about terrorism but these cultural differences are just too deep I guess! The man-woman relationship is just so different in his culture. His uncle has 6 brides for fuck sake!
Anyway, yesterday we had, hopefully a final sms-battle. I told him he was a stalking-scary-freak. I don't even want to be friends anymore. I can't breath...seriously. I just hope he leaves me alone now. He acted all dramatic- stating this morning again how upset he was about us breaking up. WE NEVER BROKE UP_THERE WAS NOTHING TO BREAK UP! We WERE friends and now we're NOTHING! Leave me alone
This is him: It's sad...sad...how you can want to hold on to something so badly that you break it. I hope he learns a lesson.
Seriously. The guy I told you about a month or two ago. Quite a good friend who suddenly came out saying he loved me. I told him we couldn't be together. Then I broke up with my boyfriend...we got drunk and had sex. Big mistake...I know...but he was a good friend, felt safe and comfortable. Anyway, I told him the next day that it was a mistake and that I still didn't want a relationship. I could tell he was hurt, but he said he understood. Anyway since then, the past 4 weeks or so, he's periodically been making huge drama. Wanting to see me everyday, smsing me 20 to 30 times a day. Teksting how much he loves me, when can he see me, sometimes literally begging me to spend time with him. If we did meet he would look at his clock when we parted stating how long we had spend together and pondering weather it was enough. He has issues which I can't talk about, but this leaves me understanding a certain amount of his loneliness and need for attention. So to a certain point I went along with it-seeing him for coffee, cooking for him but always clearly stating that we were friends-if he wanted to kiss me or hold me I would tell him "no, it's not happening-we're platonic friends...nothing else". I really, really, care for him...but not in that way, I just know it wouldn't work and all the drama just reinforces those feelings over and over again. He kept saying "we'll see, one day I'll make you love me...maybe"!!! ...and then smile and giggle which always left me thinking he was joking. I naively thought that if I just stayed clear everything would be okay. Every time I confront him on the fact that I feel pressured, that he's too intense and that I feel he wants more...he says he's joking and he's sorry and yet he keeps teksting me, keeps saying I'm "his" sexy girl.
He lies and manipulates situations to get my attention. This is just one of many examples: after a fight about him upsetting me at a party he phoned the next day to tell me he was leaving town and wanted to explain why he had acted like an ass at the party and say goodbye. After much discussion I agreed, I'm not someone who holds a grudge nor do I like fighting. So he came round, said his piece, said he was leaving for Germany the next day and we "made up" I wished him all th best etc etc, as one does and we had a nice hour, over coffee and just enjoying each others company like we usually do . Then the next day he phones to say he's not leaving....he's found a new job and has decided to stay here and can we meet for coffee, what to do...we had just made up...can't say no, right?!....Then after 1 day he's stopped working again, that's if he ever had a job in the first place. And is back calling me everyday...begging for time, smssing me non stop.
Okay I'll briefly tell you his shit....The thing that worries me I guess, or actually leads me to understand him is the fact that he originally is Muslim. He ran away from Liberia when he was 17, he hasn't seen his family for 8 years and his brothers were thrown into jail after he ran off. He escaped through Malta into Europe, has been trying to get the status of political refugee in several European countries since then. He saw MP do what ever corrupt muslim military police do and talked bad about Gadafi, that in Liberia is enough to be hung. Can you imagine being away from your family at that age for so long? Plus there's the whole muslim thing about not shaming the family. He's carrying a heavy heavy burden and has many issues with guilt, that he can't let go. He's lived homeless and hand to mouth for so long. Now he's settled-illegal-but settled. I want to help him, even contacted Amnesty International who were rather interested in his case, But I can not substitute his family or be what he wants me to be. I am me, I am free.
He thinks if he keeps stating that he really REALLY loves me....that I will love him back, if only I could understand how happy I make him...I would have to love him. How could I not....that's what women are for right....making men happy! Western women don't work that way dude!!!! I'm not a headscarf, Boerka wearing woman, I'm a fucking SG
I make men happy in other ways, ways that make me happy too. He's not a practicing Muslim and has never spoke anyhow derogative about a woman, is disgusted about terrorism but these cultural differences are just too deep I guess! The man-woman relationship is just so different in his culture. His uncle has 6 brides for fuck sake!Anyway, yesterday we had, hopefully a final sms-battle. I told him he was a stalking-scary-freak. I don't even want to be friends anymore. I can't breath...seriously. I just hope he leaves me alone now. He acted all dramatic- stating this morning again how upset he was about us breaking up. WE NEVER BROKE UP_THERE WAS NOTHING TO BREAK UP! We WERE friends and now we're NOTHING! Leave me alone
This is him: It's sad...sad...how you can want to hold on to something so badly that you break it. I hope he learns a lesson.
Easter-cold-and nothing on the tv! 
VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
I guess as well you were looking for a distraction that turned into a silly drama. No wonder you`re a little down. Resting up sounds like a plan. You can just laze around all day in your dressing gown and eat take away food and watch comfort telly or read. At least thats what I do to chill out. Maybe a smoke in the afternoon
Sending you a message about my weekend.