for the last 4 weeks i have been having terrible dreams night after night, all night. for instance:
like last night, i dreamt i was having to give a public speech (one of my worst fears) in front of a group of elementary school children (who as we know, can be particularly mean). the speech was about cocaine addiction, and aaron (my exboyfriend, coke-addict) was there. seth (my best friend, who knows how hard that relationship was for me) was there too, and right before the speech he sold aaron some coke (one of my best friends doing something that hurt me). i started to cry and cry, and then i went to the organizers, who happened to be the hells angels, and told then i couldn't give the speech cuz i was sick. then there was a fire in the building, and i couldn't get out. then i was playing pool and all the balls were so little and the cue was so short, and the slope up to the pocket was so high, that i couldn't get in any of the balls and i was embarrassed in front of everyone. then i was a teenager and i had to stay with some relatives who hated me. i somehow borrowed some things i liked of the other kid's belongings, but it ended up looking like i was trying to steal them and no one believed that wasn't what i meant. then i was wearing black spandex leggings with underwear and everyone could see the underwear. so i went to the bathroom to take off the underwear and someone walked in. out of my shirt pockets fell everything i had borrowed. like 20 things. and and i couldn't hide them and everyone thought i had stolen them. and on... and on.... and after each little chapter i wake up and toss and turn.
the night before last it was that i had gone back to high school, although i had my degree, and i was failing all my classes cuz i didn't have time to study because i was always working. then i met donald trump in the hall, and he took me to new york and offered to put me up in his penthouse. i debated with myself as to whether i could live with someone i didn't love, just for the financial security. then i realized that he was only kidding, because i was too ugly, and he only ever dated models.
holy shit!! it's like each and every fear and insecurity i have ever had is bubbling to the surface during the night. i ... am..... so.... tired......
ever happen to you?
like last night, i dreamt i was having to give a public speech (one of my worst fears) in front of a group of elementary school children (who as we know, can be particularly mean). the speech was about cocaine addiction, and aaron (my exboyfriend, coke-addict) was there. seth (my best friend, who knows how hard that relationship was for me) was there too, and right before the speech he sold aaron some coke (one of my best friends doing something that hurt me). i started to cry and cry, and then i went to the organizers, who happened to be the hells angels, and told then i couldn't give the speech cuz i was sick. then there was a fire in the building, and i couldn't get out. then i was playing pool and all the balls were so little and the cue was so short, and the slope up to the pocket was so high, that i couldn't get in any of the balls and i was embarrassed in front of everyone. then i was a teenager and i had to stay with some relatives who hated me. i somehow borrowed some things i liked of the other kid's belongings, but it ended up looking like i was trying to steal them and no one believed that wasn't what i meant. then i was wearing black spandex leggings with underwear and everyone could see the underwear. so i went to the bathroom to take off the underwear and someone walked in. out of my shirt pockets fell everything i had borrowed. like 20 things. and and i couldn't hide them and everyone thought i had stolen them. and on... and on.... and after each little chapter i wake up and toss and turn.
the night before last it was that i had gone back to high school, although i had my degree, and i was failing all my classes cuz i didn't have time to study because i was always working. then i met donald trump in the hall, and he took me to new york and offered to put me up in his penthouse. i debated with myself as to whether i could live with someone i didn't love, just for the financial security. then i realized that he was only kidding, because i was too ugly, and he only ever dated models.
holy shit!! it's like each and every fear and insecurity i have ever had is bubbling to the surface during the night. i ... am..... so.... tired......
ever happen to you?
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I have some pretty wicked cool dreams, so I'll try and send some of those your way (well, not my own dreams, but...ah, you get the picture...). Thanks for the compliments on my poster! It means a lot, especially coming from a graphic designer!