and that was frank cotton for OBSESSEDARTIST.COM, where you can find some of frank's own stuff, if you feel like wasting that much time. thanks frank, and i'm your host, frank cotton at K.A.L.I. radio on your, well, the lawyers have informed me that i can no longer refer to 'your XM dial', so we're going to start the show by officially, more or less, hell, let's just call it YOUR IM DIAL, from here on out, for lack of anything better. that settled, ok. before we get back to my latest ramble, we need some sounds. frank! let's hear JUST GOT WICKED, CONFESSION, IT'S ALL GOOD, and ANTI-LOVE SONG by COLD off 13 WAYS TO BLEED ON STAGE. got that? no, wait just a second frank, there's one thing i need to do first. a dedication, to all of the women in the world, from me. i started writing it for KRISTIN, worked on it some more for VIVICA, the one that almost killed me, and finished it for LESLIE. it's called WHAT WOULDN'T I DO ---
i would/wait til the end of time - for you/walk back and forth thru hell - for you/do anything you ask me to - altho - were you to ask/i could not say/the color of your eyes/for being so lost in them/i would - live for you - die for you/never cease to cry - for you/rearrange the stars - for you/i would - never think of you/that way again/if ever you should require it/what wouldnt i do - for you/i would - go away and never return/never look back/if ever you should desire it/i would do anything - for you/all you need do - is ask ---
well, as soon as frank dries his eyes, we'll get back to it. i think we'll line up some more tunes, as this could be a long night. hell, let's just stay up from now 'til the end of time! frank's high enough, ain't ya, frank? what is it tonight? caffiene, nicotine, hydrocodone, good old SUGAR, a touch of this, a pinch of that, no weed, frank's gettin' tested once a month, and top it off with the secret ingredient (legal), not alcohol, the old man drank, and BAM! frank is good to go. let's have PROVE TO YOU, by CHEVELLE, off WONDER WHAT'S NEXT (done the right way, FILTER), MEANT TO LIVE, by SWITCHFOOT from THE BEAUTIFUL LETDOWN, and LOVESONG, by KORN, off that album i can never remember the name of. STEPHEN KING wrote a short story about people on smoke breaks being able to see aliens, anyone else read that? could be important. YOU NEVER KNOW. FRANK! add YOU, MY PRIDE, & ME, and I'VE GOT FRIENDS, MANCHESTER ORCHESTRA, EVERYTHING TO NOTHING, k? and, uh, sorry dude, one more here; AWAKENING, by DROWNING POOL from the UNDERWORLD soundtrack. yes, i'm done. before we return to the sad tale that is frank's mortal existence, it's PRODUCT RECOMMENDATION time. KNIVES! frank loves knives, has a remarkable collection of knives, swords, all kinds of sharp, pointy, poky things, that sadly, he can't get within ten feet of because of the parole thing. just ten months to go, and i'm a free man, more or less. you girls like NICHOLAS CAGE and JOHN TRAVOLTA, right? so you've seen FACE/OFF? remember the thing with the girl and the knife? sound advice ladies, and i propose, no, not THAT kind of proposal, i propose that you arm yourselves against the possibility of global catastrophe, or maybe just some deranged asshole after something he doesn't deserve. because you don't just give it to anybody, now, do you? some things are indeed, more precious than all the gold in the world. rambling? just what the hell are you trying to say frank? that i talk too much, is that it? too mouthy? speak up, frank! i thought so. gutless. so frank recommends knives by GERBER, BENCHMADE, SMITH & WESSON (for the budget conscious), TEKNA, if you can find them, BOKER, hell, FURY (as in a woman scorned) has an unbelievably large selection to choose from. many of these are available at your local FLEA MARKET. frank would really like to see all you lovelies ready, willing and able to field strip and reassemble COLT .45s and M16s in the dark, but, well, that's one of his darker fantasies, and we ain't got that much time. so arm up, please ladies, for the lives you save may well be your own. if you didn't get my drift, every single chick on the planet should have her very own, sharp and lethal personal defense system, in the form of, well, a knife. frank took a stripper to RED LOBSTER, as no one else was interested, and since she'd just parted ways with her very own psycho-asshole boyfriend, i gave her a nice six inch DAGGER as a conversation starter/ice breaker kind of thing. worked like a charm, you should have seen her eyes light up. more about that disaster later. this is like a soap opera, just kind of drops off here, picks up there, and eventually comes to some sort of conclusion. hey, i told you how fucked up i am, right? SO. you know, all frank really wants is one clear, unobstructed shot at this ASHLEY chick. is that too much to ask? she's so cute, and she's already hangin' out with a KNOWN CHEATER! he had never even met her before, and now here she is, every night this week, hanging out and watching movies and driving me out of my fucking mind. how the fuck does this shit happen? are you girls doing it to each other, because i'm sure it had something to do with AMY. SMOKE BREAK! so she knows he cheats on everyone, even the one he was planning to marry, and, uh, hey girls, are the guys still distracted and not paying attention? good, because this is for your ears only. can you please tell me why you set yourselves up like this? you know he cheats, and you think what, he's going to change just for you? he should, i mean hell, i would, but frank's just not purty enuf, right? but he (that dude, not me) sure is cute and, and, just what the hell is this all about anyways? it isn't about me. or is it? what is it all about, anyways? wait, i think i remember, i think it was all about PUSSY. that's it. hey, dude, i think it's about time we got COURTNEY back in here, no, not on the show, she's hangin' with NIKKI SIXX, i mean, well, just put the whole CD on. not that one, the other one. idiot. damnit. might as well just do it myself...hey, there's a thought. frank, just play 'em both, back to back. yes. and let the cat in too, while you're up, and well, it's cold and rainy outside, let her in, dry her off, and give her some treats, it's not like it'll kill you. christ. the dude gets on my nerve sometimes. no, not that one, the other one. no, not the other nerve, the other frank, frank, geez, how hard is it to keep all this straight? SMOKE BREAK! again, what do you mean, again, it's just that, that...that's enough frank, seriously, dude, get a grip. ok?
i would/wait til the end of time - for you/walk back and forth thru hell - for you/do anything you ask me to - altho - were you to ask/i could not say/the color of your eyes/for being so lost in them/i would - live for you - die for you/never cease to cry - for you/rearrange the stars - for you/i would - never think of you/that way again/if ever you should require it/what wouldnt i do - for you/i would - go away and never return/never look back/if ever you should desire it/i would do anything - for you/all you need do - is ask ---
well, as soon as frank dries his eyes, we'll get back to it. i think we'll line up some more tunes, as this could be a long night. hell, let's just stay up from now 'til the end of time! frank's high enough, ain't ya, frank? what is it tonight? caffiene, nicotine, hydrocodone, good old SUGAR, a touch of this, a pinch of that, no weed, frank's gettin' tested once a month, and top it off with the secret ingredient (legal), not alcohol, the old man drank, and BAM! frank is good to go. let's have PROVE TO YOU, by CHEVELLE, off WONDER WHAT'S NEXT (done the right way, FILTER), MEANT TO LIVE, by SWITCHFOOT from THE BEAUTIFUL LETDOWN, and LOVESONG, by KORN, off that album i can never remember the name of. STEPHEN KING wrote a short story about people on smoke breaks being able to see aliens, anyone else read that? could be important. YOU NEVER KNOW. FRANK! add YOU, MY PRIDE, & ME, and I'VE GOT FRIENDS, MANCHESTER ORCHESTRA, EVERYTHING TO NOTHING, k? and, uh, sorry dude, one more here; AWAKENING, by DROWNING POOL from the UNDERWORLD soundtrack. yes, i'm done. before we return to the sad tale that is frank's mortal existence, it's PRODUCT RECOMMENDATION time. KNIVES! frank loves knives, has a remarkable collection of knives, swords, all kinds of sharp, pointy, poky things, that sadly, he can't get within ten feet of because of the parole thing. just ten months to go, and i'm a free man, more or less. you girls like NICHOLAS CAGE and JOHN TRAVOLTA, right? so you've seen FACE/OFF? remember the thing with the girl and the knife? sound advice ladies, and i propose, no, not THAT kind of proposal, i propose that you arm yourselves against the possibility of global catastrophe, or maybe just some deranged asshole after something he doesn't deserve. because you don't just give it to anybody, now, do you? some things are indeed, more precious than all the gold in the world. rambling? just what the hell are you trying to say frank? that i talk too much, is that it? too mouthy? speak up, frank! i thought so. gutless. so frank recommends knives by GERBER, BENCHMADE, SMITH & WESSON (for the budget conscious), TEKNA, if you can find them, BOKER, hell, FURY (as in a woman scorned) has an unbelievably large selection to choose from. many of these are available at your local FLEA MARKET. frank would really like to see all you lovelies ready, willing and able to field strip and reassemble COLT .45s and M16s in the dark, but, well, that's one of his darker fantasies, and we ain't got that much time. so arm up, please ladies, for the lives you save may well be your own. if you didn't get my drift, every single chick on the planet should have her very own, sharp and lethal personal defense system, in the form of, well, a knife. frank took a stripper to RED LOBSTER, as no one else was interested, and since she'd just parted ways with her very own psycho-asshole boyfriend, i gave her a nice six inch DAGGER as a conversation starter/ice breaker kind of thing. worked like a charm, you should have seen her eyes light up. more about that disaster later. this is like a soap opera, just kind of drops off here, picks up there, and eventually comes to some sort of conclusion. hey, i told you how fucked up i am, right? SO. you know, all frank really wants is one clear, unobstructed shot at this ASHLEY chick. is that too much to ask? she's so cute, and she's already hangin' out with a KNOWN CHEATER! he had never even met her before, and now here she is, every night this week, hanging out and watching movies and driving me out of my fucking mind. how the fuck does this shit happen? are you girls doing it to each other, because i'm sure it had something to do with AMY. SMOKE BREAK! so she knows he cheats on everyone, even the one he was planning to marry, and, uh, hey girls, are the guys still distracted and not paying attention? good, because this is for your ears only. can you please tell me why you set yourselves up like this? you know he cheats, and you think what, he's going to change just for you? he should, i mean hell, i would, but frank's just not purty enuf, right? but he (that dude, not me) sure is cute and, and, just what the hell is this all about anyways? it isn't about me. or is it? what is it all about, anyways? wait, i think i remember, i think it was all about PUSSY. that's it. hey, dude, i think it's about time we got COURTNEY back in here, no, not on the show, she's hangin' with NIKKI SIXX, i mean, well, just put the whole CD on. not that one, the other one. idiot. damnit. might as well just do it myself...hey, there's a thought. frank, just play 'em both, back to back. yes. and let the cat in too, while you're up, and well, it's cold and rainy outside, let her in, dry her off, and give her some treats, it's not like it'll kill you. christ. the dude gets on my nerve sometimes. no, not that one, the other one. no, not the other nerve, the other frank, frank, geez, how hard is it to keep all this straight? SMOKE BREAK! again, what do you mean, again, it's just that, that...that's enough frank, seriously, dude, get a grip. ok?