hey people any chance on getting some feedback on this piece quickly? it is tentatively titled "father knows best?"
basically i need to work out whether it is good enough to submit for my written assignment, ow wehter i should submit that"mary" peice which i would really prefer to keep for use as an oral, but will use for this assessment if i must.
oh well ... here it is.
I could never find her here. That girl would not be my daughter. Hope keeps me going, and hope means that I have to ignore the urge to seek her out in the places where she is most likely to be. I dont even know if that girl my girl- even exists anymore but I have to go on believing that she is inside her, out there, somewhere.
She left a long time before I ever knew. Indeed she left a long time before that night that she never returned home. We never mistreated her, and she never seemed unhappy, just bored and restless. Eventually she went away, turned her back, and left nothing more than a note which simply stated, I need to look for something more.
Why didnt I search for her when she was still here? Why didnt I try to discover where she went when she had had enough of us, or herself? I have been waiting for my daughter to come back for much longer than the time since she left our house.
Could you spend your nights sitting in the darkened back corners of the citys strip clubs nursing a drink and waiting for your little girl to step out between the curtains? Would you trawl the popular strips where all the desolate girls work through the night trying to make enough just so that they can survive until the next day to do it all again? What if you found her there? Could you look in her eyes and see the child you loved or would you shrink away quietly, left with nothing to hold onto?
Where would you search when you need to find her, not just a shell. Where would you look when you knew that you could never find her where you are mostly likely to see her? I wont take her back until I can gaze upon her, hold her, and know that she is home.
That is why I am here and not there. This is why I go on about my business, my life, as best I can; continually paying a souls fortune in penance for sins that I dont even understand. I go on in hope.
I sincerely dont want to know where she is or what she is doing. I just want her back; back as she was before. Could we pretend that there never was any time between? Could she ever be the same? Would she want me to be? The worst thing is not that I dont know but the continual questioning of if I want to or not.
basically i need to work out whether it is good enough to submit for my written assignment, ow wehter i should submit that"mary" peice which i would really prefer to keep for use as an oral, but will use for this assessment if i must.
oh well ... here it is.
I could never find her here. That girl would not be my daughter. Hope keeps me going, and hope means that I have to ignore the urge to seek her out in the places where she is most likely to be. I dont even know if that girl my girl- even exists anymore but I have to go on believing that she is inside her, out there, somewhere.
She left a long time before I ever knew. Indeed she left a long time before that night that she never returned home. We never mistreated her, and she never seemed unhappy, just bored and restless. Eventually she went away, turned her back, and left nothing more than a note which simply stated, I need to look for something more.
Why didnt I search for her when she was still here? Why didnt I try to discover where she went when she had had enough of us, or herself? I have been waiting for my daughter to come back for much longer than the time since she left our house.
Could you spend your nights sitting in the darkened back corners of the citys strip clubs nursing a drink and waiting for your little girl to step out between the curtains? Would you trawl the popular strips where all the desolate girls work through the night trying to make enough just so that they can survive until the next day to do it all again? What if you found her there? Could you look in her eyes and see the child you loved or would you shrink away quietly, left with nothing to hold onto?
Where would you search when you need to find her, not just a shell. Where would you look when you knew that you could never find her where you are mostly likely to see her? I wont take her back until I can gaze upon her, hold her, and know that she is home.
That is why I am here and not there. This is why I go on about my business, my life, as best I can; continually paying a souls fortune in penance for sins that I dont even understand. I go on in hope.
I sincerely dont want to know where she is or what she is doing. I just want her back; back as she was before. Could we pretend that there never was any time between? Could she ever be the same? Would she want me to be? The worst thing is not that I dont know but the continual questioning of if I want to or not.
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If your delivery is confident, this piece will be better for an oral than Mary. But don't quote me on that.