rambling to be had:


i've been thinking a lot lately about my place in this world and how people spend their lives devoted to a religion or god. it seems so strange to me to pray or raise my hands up to the sky. if there is a god then how can we possibly know what it wants from us. maybe it doesn't want anything at all. we can say that we've seen god work or that we feel its presence. but that could also be us just trying to understand things. i mean...really, what do we know? it's all ideas that may or may not be true. it just seems like a waste of time to devote myself to a god. what i want in life i will make. for all i know everything i've ever been told has been a lie or at least not true.

all the people i know i have an idea of how they see me or what they think about me. but i don't really know for sure. obviously, i know the people who really like me because i see them and hang out with them all the time. but even then i still don't know exactly how they feel. this person or that person could be one of my best friends, but maybe i'm just a friend or my house is just a place for them to hang out because they have nothing else to do. and that could all be vice versa. what we think we know may not be what is real. i can sit here and analyze this forever and probably find no true solution because it's pretty much endless.

or maybe i'm just lost.

i could probably just talk in circles about this because that is what it feels like.

well anyway, i'm going to go watch the devil's rejects again.