the burlesque show was AWESOME!!!! you sg's rock on in my soul forever...
and i had a damn good dancin' time with kittyla and various other kidz.. i can feel my energy returning to me... it has been a long, LONG hiatus during which it felt like i had none... during which time it seemed like everything was just too tiring, too hard; that even talking to people was just difficult; that doing simple things was just troublesome... i have sometimes weeks when i feel this way, and people who meet me during those times think i'm a total introvert and quiet in-the-corner person... now i can detect my roller coaster climbing again; perhaps it was this move into a new place that in part kicked it off, and now people who met me in the last few weeks are gonna see me in the next few and wonder if i'm bipolar or on drugs
it's always been like this. and no i'm not bipolar, and no i haven't done speed since high school, is always my reply.
i am waiting on my hands with teeth clenched at this point to hear back from all those places in the mall i applied to for employment... jeez, at least one of them's gotta bite, right??
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p.s....
Fuck Cayucos!!
I'm terribly sorry if any of you are from there, and I extend my apologies; but i've fucking had it with the people there. They are just Portervillians with access to water. they are the true meaning of fake-plastic-nice with nothing behind it-- i can't stand it when people are in the middle of being OVERTLY friendly, and then suddenly extend some truly bigotted comment--
i don't wanna get into it right now; i'll just bitch in the general direction of that town, cause i've had to spend overall too much of my life there--- and it just builds up after a while, ya know?
i just.. would prefer that people just understand that they're not actually that nice... than put all their effort into -playing- nice, when actually they've got a lot of spite and xenophobia up their sleeves, and under that smile. basically i can't stand the goddamn fake nice-smile; nice like "i'm just a nice person cause my parents raised me right and i got good grades and never did drugs and therefore am the paragon of goodness and if i sneer at you it's cause you're the bad one tee hee" ... i fucking lived INSIDE that shit in porterville... i swear, parts of this coastline are just like the central valley as far as people's attitudes go... grr...
Just.... FUCK Cayucos!!! FUCK Porterville!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK bigotted homogenous ignorant self-absorbed little towns!!!! aaaaahhh!!!!!
and i had a damn good dancin' time with kittyla and various other kidz.. i can feel my energy returning to me... it has been a long, LONG hiatus during which it felt like i had none... during which time it seemed like everything was just too tiring, too hard; that even talking to people was just difficult; that doing simple things was just troublesome... i have sometimes weeks when i feel this way, and people who meet me during those times think i'm a total introvert and quiet in-the-corner person... now i can detect my roller coaster climbing again; perhaps it was this move into a new place that in part kicked it off, and now people who met me in the last few weeks are gonna see me in the next few and wonder if i'm bipolar or on drugs
it's always been like this. and no i'm not bipolar, and no i haven't done speed since high school, is always my reply.
i am waiting on my hands with teeth clenched at this point to hear back from all those places in the mall i applied to for employment... jeez, at least one of them's gotta bite, right??
-----
p.s....
Fuck Cayucos!!
I'm terribly sorry if any of you are from there, and I extend my apologies; but i've fucking had it with the people there. They are just Portervillians with access to water. they are the true meaning of fake-plastic-nice with nothing behind it-- i can't stand it when people are in the middle of being OVERTLY friendly, and then suddenly extend some truly bigotted comment--
i don't wanna get into it right now; i'll just bitch in the general direction of that town, cause i've had to spend overall too much of my life there--- and it just builds up after a while, ya know?
i just.. would prefer that people just understand that they're not actually that nice... than put all their effort into -playing- nice, when actually they've got a lot of spite and xenophobia up their sleeves, and under that smile. basically i can't stand the goddamn fake nice-smile; nice like "i'm just a nice person cause my parents raised me right and i got good grades and never did drugs and therefore am the paragon of goodness and if i sneer at you it's cause you're the bad one tee hee" ... i fucking lived INSIDE that shit in porterville... i swear, parts of this coastline are just like the central valley as far as people's attitudes go... grr...
Just.... FUCK Cayucos!!! FUCK Porterville!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK bigotted homogenous ignorant self-absorbed little towns!!!! aaaaahhh!!!!!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I still have your b-day present.