Ok, so I'm too excited and nervous to not share this with someone. So I figured I'd share it here.
A little back story, I unfortunately suffered from CPTSD for roughly 5 years, in and out of episodes. I would often blackout and forget what happened when I went into these episodes. I never got violent, and none of my actions were intentional. To top it off I had a brain injury from 2011 that I was unaware of and had damaged my pituitary gland. (Now healed) This combination was horrific on my mind and body. Therapy has helped me so much. I haven't had an episode since July. My physical health and mental health are constantly improving. But that that's for another blog post. This one is about my little girl.
Unfortunately during my episodes I was mean, dismissive, neglectful, and said things I can never take back. One of which was to my little girl. She has always dreamed of being a princess. When she would throw tantrums or have fits I would tell her that she isn't a princess, she's a evil queen. Those words echo in my brain in a painful way. I didn't mean them, I didn't want to say them. But I did.
Well now her and I are best buds again. Dancing in the kitchen baking, listening to Christmas music on walks around the block, playing dolls, crafting, the works. This year for Christmas I was trying to figure out what I could get her. She has plenty or toys, books, games, etc. It wasn't easy. But I finally figured it out.
She is my little princess. One thing every princess needs is a tiara and a twirly dress for the ball. So I searched all over town and finally found the perfect combo.
It's a dark teal green dress (teal is her favorite color) and the perfect silver plated princess crown for my little girl. I'm on a tight budget so this wasn't easy.
But I couldn't just toss them in a box and wrap it up. This outfit deserves the full treatment. So I grabbed some cardboard, and old shirt, and some wood grain contact paper and made this special box to go with it. I adorned the lid with metallic flourish using paint pens.
I'm so nervous she isn't going to like it. It's been hard for me and my two kids, especially my daughter, being apart because of the divorce from their mom. I don't get to see them as much any more. About 19% of what I used to. But I just wanted her to know that she is, and always will be, a princess.
Oh, and to go with this princess dress, I'm getting a matching vest and tie, so we can find a day to go dancing and she can twirl like a princess should.
Ok. Thanks for letting me let someone in on this secret. Nobody else knows. I'll update this on Christmas morning when she opens it.
