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fracturedguy

Dickson, TN

Member Since 2002

Followers 58 Following 84

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Tuesday Feb 03, 2009

Feb 3, 2009
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It's been over six years since I joined SG? That's 20% of my life ago!
Truth be told, there's enough free nudity out there, and for quite a while I only kept my membership up for the tattoos. When I hit the road, I let the membership lapse, considering I had no internet (except for the public library, and I assume they'd frown on me browsing SG, there).

But now, some mysterious benefactor has renewed my membership. I have no idea who, I have no idea why.
But I'm here, at least for the next three months.

So, er, since that last update...
In Tucson: bored and jobless, squatting in a house my grandmother owned, my roommate and I got drunk and amused ourselves by joining a dating website.
Two weeks later, I was in love with a girl in Ogden, UT. Six weeks later I asked her to marry me. At year's end we would move to Portland.
But instead she panicked and made to move to Portland with someone else, without talking to me about it. She and her friend came thru Tucson on the roadtrip that was to end in Portland, and we talked it out. They left, but I couldn't let her leave. I borrowed cash, I made arrangements at work, and I flew to Seattle, arriving around the same time their roadtrip came through. We three had to share a bed.
Four days later, I had to return to Tucson. She had to drive down, since all she owned was in her car. She moved in to my squat, and the other guy took a bus back home.

Living together went all wrong. I live my life doing what signs tell me, but this time I told the signs to get stuffed. I had the girl, and that's all I wanted.
I lost my mind.

She moved out, and I took that to mean she didn't want to be with me.
Two weeks later, the signs told me to move to Seattle. I'd learned to follow the signs.
I live here now, with an old school friend and her boyfriend. I work in a bookstore, and I study, constantly working to understand the world.

I returned to Tucson for Xmas. I expected to fall in love with that girl all over again, now that I'd gotten my head on straight. There's still business to attend to, with her, but I realized that the more important girl in my life is here in WA.
When I returned from Tucson, she'd gotten herself a boyfriend. Someone from her past who'd purportedly changed his ways. I told her I loved her. She told me she loved me, but she couldn't leave him. It wouldn't be good, it wouldn't be fair.
Life's not fair.
And staying in a relationship for the wrong reasons isn't good.
And now I've got a girlfriend for the first time since 2005.
And, being careful to follow the signs life sends to me, I am learning so much, every day.
unida:
thanks for the nicest comment on my set! kiss
Mar 19, 2009

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